Running From Him
by Running Like Yesterday- Slowly
Summary: How does Jacob Cope when he catches himself fantasising about Emmett? Denial, obviously, but Emmett has a surprise. Slash Emmett/Jacob. Rated M for sex and language.
1. How It Began

**AN:** First Chapter of a multi-chapter story.

**Warning: **Slash and Angst and Fantasy and all that. Rated M

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight, nor tdo I own anything to do with Twilight.

Chapter 1 - How It Began

_School, how I hate you,_ I bitterly thought as I hopped on my motorbike, kicking it to the highest gear possible before shooting up the main road towards Forks High School. I didn't really hate the school on the Reservation, just the things they did. Such as a buddy system with another school which just so happens to be swarming with bloodsuckers.

The road was long, winding, and narrow, the perfect conditions for high-speed frustration-venting in my books. The trees passed in a blur as flashes of sterile looking white walls and people in pristine white suits walked around within them. I knew perfectly well that Forks High didn't actually look like that, but it wasn't what I was used to. I was used to the warm comfort of my friends and the familiarity of the Reservation High School that I had been going to since the beginning. Riding the corners hard and skidding wherever possible, the anticipation knot in my stomach was starting to constrict again at the thought of my first day at this new school for God knows how long.

_Don't worry about it, _I thought to myself, _you'll see Bella again, at least._ As these words skipped around my mind, I knew, for some reason that I couldn't explain, that it wasn't going to be that

People socialising in the parking lot stared as I was the first one of the group from the Reservation to arrive. I knew they would take as long as possible, and I knew why they would want to. A thousand tiny eyes pierced the skin all over my body as I walked from my bike to the front office. Like trying to outrun the sun's rays at the beach, it only gets hotter the more you fight it.

I was never one to act in humility, I was the opposite. I would rather die than swallow my pride. _My pride is so big I probably would die if I tried to swallow it._ I chuckled to myself at how true that was.

"Jacob! Hey, Jacob, wait up," a small female voice shouted, the noise flitting over the crowd behind me. I heard the footsteps, and I heard the yelling, but I only turned because I was feeling especially nice today. I didn't think someone like Alice would even call me by my first name, let alone a name at all. I would expect Wolf-Man or Mutt, but, as sad as it was to admit, it did kind of make my morning a little better to hear it.

"What?" I couldn't help but be rude, it was in my nature. I couldn't see her falter at my harsh words, but she could just be a good actress. Someone so small wasn't supposed to be so strong, emotionally and physically. Looking into those golden eyes, I wished I could take back the sharp point to the end of my words; the best I could do was apologise. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just meant 'Can I help you with something?'"

"I know you didn't mean it, it's alright," she playfully punched me in the stomach, about where he head came up to against my height, "I wanted to show you around, take you to the classes you need to be."

"I thought Bel-" I began to awkwardly say, but I was interrupted with a blank stare from Alice, and even though it was blanket, I knew what had happened.

"Sorry, Jacob, she was part of the group that went to the Reservation for the exchange." She did seem genuinely sorry, but that didn't stop my anger flaring up as I knew Edward was behind this.

Instead of yelling, or punching something or _someone_, I slowly took a deep breath, turned around, and continued walking to the office. I wasn't trying to be rude to Alice, and I knew that she knew I was just upset, because then I felt the weight on my back. I never imagined today would start with a piggy-back ride with a vampire.

"Why are you following me and attempting to help me when you know I don't want to be helped?" my question was softened by the small soft side that was forming in my heart for Alice, she was the nicest to me out of all of all the Cullens, except Carlisle and Esme, of course.

"Two reasons," she chirped in my ear from her position on my shoulders, "the first; Bella told me that if I replaced her for you, and was nice to you, she would let me take her shopping up in Seattle, and she promised she'd put more heart into it this time." Feeling a little hurt, the soft spot started fading back to an empty void. She was waiting for me to respond, but I was still too angry with Edward to reply.

Just before I was about to put my hand on the door knob to the front desk, she jumped off and spun me around to look at her. "The second reason is because Jasper and Edward both went with Bella as part of the group. I'm sorry if it sounds selfish, but even before Bella bribed me to help you, I had chosen you as my new buddy for the half-semester."

"What about the other two?"

"Well that's exactly the point, the other _two_, meaning they're already a pair. Gosh Jacob, keep up with the program," she said as the sassily snapped her fingers in front of my face. Her hand hit the door knob with an almost silent _clink_ before her turned and placed her cool hand on my right forearm. A quick snap-out-of-it look gave me the energy I needed to walk forward.

"Sorry, I just didn't expect you to be this nice." I felt the need to explain my pause, in doing so; I also swallowed half my pride.

The first few lessons went by without any difficulty, apparently Quil and Embry decided to take the same classes without telling me. English was terrible; I had neither Quil and Embry nor Alice. But art was after that, and I couldn't help but be happy to be somewhere where I didn't have to think. Mondays were apparently the practical lessons, so I just had to sit in a quiet corner by myself, drawing.

"Make the emotions of today become apparent in your colours," the crazy art teacher, Ms Anderson, had said. She was nice enough, just not someone I would like to sit and have a conversation with. Her hands were the only other part of skin showering from under the moo-moo dress thing she was wearing besides her face. They were bony, tanned, and her long spindly fingers were crusted over with rings of all kinds. Her hair was multicoloured, mainly her natural brown with streaks of purple orange and gray, and were like curly, fuzzy half-dreadlocks. But the most noticeable feature was her actual self, a big blue hazy that drifted around the classroom barefoot and saying random quotes from different people no one had ever heard of.

"Fingers are the keys to the gate of life," she whispered in my ear. My eyes widened as the words hit the left side of my face. I was completely unaware that she could even fit behind me; I was cramped so close to the wall in hiding, it was impossible.

Just then the bell rang and I stood up to leave before turning to nod back at Ms Anderson. She smiled politely and waved her hand for me to leave. Just outside the door, the petite little girl who seemed to be following me was there again. Cute, short black hair, a flowing white shirt tucked into a pair of black high waisted pants, she was quite a vision, but not my type; taken and a vampire.

"How were your first two lessons then?" I feigned boredom as I turned my shoulder away from her and walked onward. I had realised during English that she was pretty much using me, and even though it was petty and bitchy, I acted as if I didn't care, I acted like Normal Jacob.

"What's wrong, Grumpy Bum? Are you upset you can't see Bella?" Her first question was mocking, her second was serious. I couldn't believe what I was about to do, but I had no choice, half a semester with no one else, I had to. I turned around and picked Alice up in a bone crushing hug. I really couldn't be bothered to be Normal Jacob anymore, at least not while I was in such strange territory. Somehow she wriggled her way out of my arms and onto my back again. _What's with this chick and being carried and acting like a baby?_

"While you're up there," I grumbled out, "you may as well act like a navigator and point me in the direction of the cafeteria."

Maybe my vision was half correct, sterile walls and white suited people, only they weren't suits, they were Lunch Lady Clothes, but it's really the same thing. With food in hand and a seat underneath me, I sat down… by myself. Even if I wasn't acting like Normal Moody Jacob didn't mean I had to go out of my way to be any friendlier than normal, if Alice wanted to sit with me, she could. And in a matter of seconds, there she was, sitting opposite me with a small plate of wasted food and a bright smile.

As I began to eat, I noticed the rest of Alice's family, the two of them, sitting by themselves over at a window table.

"Why not sit with them?"

"Because…" she left it at that to take a bite and for me to get the impression she was indifferent about the situation. I looked over to see the male one looking in my direction with the girl whispering in his ear.

"Because they don't like me." I stated, not questioned, and clenched my jaw shut around my half chewed lunch. Alice neither nodded, nor shook her head; she just averted her eyes back to her fake lunch.

_Fine, it's not like I like them either._ But as the thought was processing in my mind, I realised I actually thought they had changed, that maybe Alice was just breaking the ice for the rest of them to finally accept me as part of Bella's lives and stop making things difficult for me.

Anger burned in the bottom of my stomach as I felt the shame of my stupidity, _How could you even think those filthy beings could be any different._

I abruptly lifted myself off the chair, walked towards the exit, throwing my lunch into the bin as I went, and walked towards the grassy area outside the front of the school. _I can have my lunch break there without having to ruin their precious family moments._

"Jacob wait!" For the second time today, the same situation had occurred, but this time it was different. I didn't stop and turn because I felt bad, I didn't turn at all, I just kept walking, hoping she wouldn't follow me because I knew I had to stop when I got to the boundary.

The only lesson I had left that day was Maths, I hated Maths, and what made it worse was my seating choice. Getting there early had its perks, teachers automatically like you, so Mr Hamper smiled and nodded my arrival, catching me up to speed with the work that were doing at the moment. Just when he had finished, the rest of the class entered, sitting in their regular seats. Mr Hamper had told me to sit in the second-row-from-the-back seat because he knew no one sat there and I could work without having to disrupt too many people as the best in the class was sitting right next to me.

Before I even looked up I knew this was going to be a terrible hour out of my life. The male vampire, Emmett as I found out later, sat next to me, staring at the front of the room. I was terrible at Maths, but I was not going to ask "the best in the class" for his help if it meant admitting to vampire I was struggling.

The minutes passed with everyone silently working out their problems. Mostly talking with people next to them, it was nice that Mr Hamper didn't care about talking; he just sat at the front of the class reading the newspaper.

I was thankful for the first couple of questions being easy, I got the answers done in no time. Eventually the numbers and symbols began swimming around my mind, the pool of knowledge about Maths being so shallow they couldn't all fit. I felt the life guards that my brain hired trying to save some of the equations and formulae, but there was no use. Once I was stuck, I was stuck.

I looked up at the clock to see if I could get away with wasting time, not actually doing to work. I had another forty-five minutes, I was screwed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Emmett looking at me, looking at the lock.

"Don't worry about it, Mutt, you only have to pretend to know what you're doing for another half an hour, the clock on the wall is slow." My fists balled up as I tried to hold back the anger of being taunted by a filthy leech.

"Cool it, kid, no need to get angry, we can't all be strong, good-looking _and_ smart. Some of us just have to settle with what we've got."

I continued to "work" and he returned to his questions as the time ticked by. I used the time to attempt all the other questions of the sheet. The chatter around the room picked up slightly as everyone started finishing; I was the only one left still working.

Out of frustration I silently crushed my pencil, causing it to shatter in the middle, the writing end landing on my work and the rubber end falling to the ground.

"Seriously, no need to take things to extremes, they're just Maths problems," Emmett whispered to me he picked up the rubber end.

Anger finally taking over, I irritably whispered back, "For some of us, we've just got to settle with what we've got, and while I have my strength and I'm kicking your ass, you can defend yourself with your Maths solving abilities."

A few people looked around at where the noise had come from, not really understanding and then turning back. Looking uninterested he replied, "I guess not all of us are brilliant enough to bring home the trophies for our caring fathers _and_ mothers."

Shock. A large mallet hit me in the back as all the anger turned to shock, intertwined with sorrow. _How could he stoop that low? How dare he bring my dead mother into this?_ I couldn't believe he would get so petty as to say something like that.

I slowly turned my head to look at his triumphant profile, a smirk on his face. Just then, his smile dropped off as he realised what he'd said, and he realised I was looking at him. His head quickly turned towards me as he tried to explain, but the bell had rung and I was already standing to leave.

"Wait! Jacob!" He yelled over the class members leaving to get home. "I didn't mean it like that…" His voice trailed got tangled and lost in the sea of conversation of every other student.

My legs carried me towards my bike, using their normal pace, not the kind I use to fit in with all the short people. Only when I got outside, away from all the crowds, enough to really start to run did I feel the moisture in my eyes, not yet spilling over, but still present enough to know my emotions had gotten the better of me.

"Please, Jacob!" My ride was off in a flash as I heard Emmett's last words, who had obviously chased me, trying to explain.

My heavy feet bent the floor boards, causing them to creak, as I walked upstairs to my bedroom. I hadn't talked to Alice since the cafeteria, and what annoyed me the most was the actual sorrow I was feeling about being abandoned like that.

_Wait, was I abandoned? Wasn't I angry at Emmett, for saying those things about my lack of intelligence and family? Alice helping me all day, wasn't she?_

Before even realising it, my house phone was against my ear, having subconsciously dialled the Cullen's home phone. I knew it off by heart from all the times I had called to check up on Bella.

"I knew you'd call eventually." It was Alice, and she seemed happy.

"I thought you couldn't see my future," I smiled by let my voice stay hard and unemotional; I didn't want to let my guard down too far again.

"I can't, but I just knew you had some kind of heart and would realise I wanted to help."

"Yeah, well… I'm sorry I took off like that. I don't really know what happened. I just thought you were using me, hated me."

"Don't worry about it," she brushed it off, like it was impossible for her to hold a grudge, "clean start tomorrow."

"Clean start tomorrow," I agreed before letting out a silent sob. Just before I was about to hang up the phone, I hear a tiny voice coming from the other end. I placed to back to my ear to listen.

"You still there?" It was Emmett, I could tell. Anger and pain, all mixed with the ever-present tears still clung to my voice, only being able to hold them off for the short conversation with Alice.

I didn't reply, I considered hanging up, but could feel more of my heart appearing from behind the dark clouds. Now that I had these emotions out in the open, may as well have let the others out. And with that came my slightly more polite side, I couldn't just hang up on him.

"I didn't mean what I said. I was only joking about all that stuff. And I didn't mean to put and emphasis on 'and mother', it was just me taunting you and…" that was enough being polite. I still had my pride and didn't want him to hear my explosive sobbing, so I hung up the phone before setting it down and doing my afternoon rituals of homework, eat, TV, eat, repairing in the garage, eat, dinner, and then eat, all before bed.

The afternoon was full on, not much eating and more repairing as I made a breakthrough on the car I was working on; I had figured out how to remove the shell without damaging it. Lying on my bed, trying to get to sleep, I was still too restless, the excitement of the afternoons work continued to course through me as the pain of the school day was washed away easily. The sleeplessness persisted as the seconds-hand on my clock ticked away. People often complained about the constant noise being produced by the little machine, but I found it to be relaxing, pushing me to sleep. After a while, I was getting angry at my inability to find my path to darkness.

A scenario played out in my head from a few months ago; a conversation with Quil and Embry.

"_There's always one way to relax and lease some 'tension'" Quil winked at me as we both knowingly laughed at Embry's story about sleepless nights._

"_What? What way, how?" He was so innocent, didn't know a thing passed lolly pops and rainbows. He thought we were talking about some kind of drink or medicine._

_Quil look at me with a smirk, curled his hand into a loose fist, lowered it south on his body and pretended to…_

Quil and I had both laughed and Embry didn't have any more sleepless nights, but ever since then, I have taken my own advice on a few occasions.

Holding my breath for a short second to hear if dad was still wheeling around down stairs… he wasn't, and glancing over to see if my bedroom door was locked… it was, I moved to the centre of my bed, and closed my eyes.

Every single time I started my "alone time" I felt awkward and embarrassed at how lame it was to be this alone. I took off my plain white shirt and tossed it on the ground next to my bed. The slightly cool night air breezing passed my cheek was the last thing I felt before closing off all my senses, all but one.

One hand, I wasn't sure which, ghosted across my chest, a trailing finger glazed over my nipple as my other hand slid its way down my side. Moving more into the centre of my torso, the hand felt the ridges of my stomach, small, but definite. The index finger fell into the dip of my navel and then dragged back out by the rest of the hand eagerly searching for its target.

The other hand gently moved from my chest to my neck, massaging the tendons and muscles there, causing a silent puff of air to escape my lips. The little finger limply brushed the prickles on my jaw as the rest of the hand moved around the back of my neck. Though it was invisible to an ordinary human eye, the tiny scars that were visible to the pack were able to be felt all over my body. Bite marks from aggressive fights with other pack members left almost indefinable raised parts of skin, like brail, slightly lighter in colour than the rest of my skin, and almost completely dead to my touch.

Back when I had changed, I had worried about the wounded areas. Although they were only tiny, the build up caused a lack of feeling on the surface of the skin. I could still feel the pressure being applied to that area, I knew something was there, I just couldn't feel the intricate touches on the damaged areas. It didn't matter to the rest of the pack, they didn't care like I did, but they didn't react to things I did. They would prefer to ogle at some chick walking passed, whereas I would rather feel her skin brushing against my own, feel her hair softly flitter across my cheek.

The fear of possessing more skin without feeling than skin with it was one that flashed into my head every time my temper flared. I would control myself enough to walk away. I thankfully realised that early, leaving with only the deadened skin on the back of my neck and a little part on my calf.

All the while my southern-travelling hand was tracing the lines of V-muscle leading into my pants. Thank God that wasn't damaged, I knew that was my special spot and would be devastated if the feeling went away.

My fingers glided over the kin, right on the ridge, sending a small whisper of feeling through my body. A perfectly choreographed routine played our; one hand finding its way to my tongue, lathering the index and thumb in saliva, the other slowly wriggling its way under the elastic of my round-the-house pants. The first hand began to knead my left nipple, the stimulation shooting across my chest; nothing was slow anymore.

The second hand passed over the short, growing hairs inside my pants. I always kept them short, cutting them on occasion, purely because it looked better. The lack of underwear made it less difficult for my hands to find my bulge; the open space provided no resistance for my hand to move freely. The long fingers surrounded its mark, slowly pulling back the skin covering the end. A gasp pulled in through my nose, the sound only egging me on.

The hand at my chest changed nipples, passing over the groove in the middle before causing another explosion on the other side of my chest.

As my erection became harder, the strokes became longer, travelling completely from tip to base; the energy and pleasure building at the tip and travelling straight to my head. The other hand abandoned its post at my chest and took up the position under my balls, gently massaging them to the rhythm of my stroking.

As the pleasure reached my head, producing bursts of hazy cloud circling my mind, images of attractive women appeared; long thin bodies, curvy hips, large rack. I couldn't help but objectify these ladies, the images were taking over as I somehow found them undressing.

Longer strokes became faster in speed as the images changed to women I had seen on the beach before. Their golden skin sparkling in the sunlight as the water from the ocean dripped off their bodies. What I wouldn't give to be with one of them right now.

I licked my lips as the girl in my head did also, leading to a slowly building pressure in my groin. The feeling always made me pick up speed, the feeling of wanting more made me want even more, and my wants would snow-ball as all I wanted was more.

I knew I was pretty could at creating a large build, but the time was coming, and I knew it. The images swirled in my head as they normally did, the closer to releasing, the less distinct the images became. Every now and again a face or _other_ body part would make its way out of the haze, but only for a short second.

Feeling almost ready to begin, my hands felt a twitching beneath them as I sped up again, losing myself to anything in the real world. If someone knocked on the door right now, I wouldn't have even cared. I always had a voice warning me I would regret it later if I didn't stop, but that had only happened once when Quil walked in on me in the shower. He knew he shouldn't have, he just looked shocked and embarrassed.

Just as the solid-feeling mass began to push its way over the edge, asking my permission to let go and allow it to flow out into the open, the images produced a glimmer of shiny pale skin. The tension was building as I fought back, only wanted a few more seconds to hold my thick log in my hand. The glimmer of skin turned into broad shoulders… which turned into a smirk looking in my direction… a smirk surrounded by a cocky, arrogant face, golden eyes and short black hair.

The shock of seeing Emmett's face in my orgasm caused me to lose concentration, my eyes snapping open and letting go as the hot liquid poured over my stomach and chest.

Sitting bolt-upright in the process, my cock continued to pulse ribbons of juice over my hands, feeling the immense pleasure wave over my body, my shoulders pulling back to stretch out my chest in a burst of feeling.

Knowing what had happened, but having my orgasm pushing me all over the place, I didn't actually have time to understand what it meant.

Feeling the pleasure ebb away, leaving behind a confused boy and a hand full of sticky, pearlescent sap, I lay back on my bed, not having the energy to sit up to think about what had happened.

I subconsciously cleaned myself up as I cursed Emmett Cullen's name, not realising at the time that I was more angry with myself.


	2. And the Repercussions

**AN:** Heya, this is chapter two and I have a few points to make, one is that I know Jacob is a bit Out Of Charater but I'm trying to rope him back in, it's a little difficult. Two, this isn't really set around much of the story line, kind of New Moon-ish time. Thirdly, I know it's kind of slow beginning, same with this chapter, but i write it how I like to read it, with a developed character and story line, not all sex. That doesn't really suit some people... sorry.

**Warning: ** Just swearing in this. Other rude stuff later.

**Disclaimer:**I do not won anything Twilight related or even Twilight itself.

And The Repercussions

The muffled sounds of an alarm went off in the distance. My eyes wiggled beneath their lids as the sounds came closer to me. I knew what was happening, but at the same time, I didn't know why. Then suddenly, the dread of having to wake up for school came to me. It always happened the same way, slow blissful awakening with light rays of sun hitting your face, only to have the real temperature of freezing cold and reality of the world slam into your conscious body.

That morning was different though. As my reluctant legs carried my heavy body down the stairs towards the kitchen, I was also slapped with what happened last night.

Stopping mid step, three from the bottom, images of Emmett Cullen's face focused into my mind as flashbacks appeared of my thoughts. Even though I had that night of sleep to get over it, it didn't stop the hatred I felt for him to filter slowly back into my system.

As I came to t5he last step, the railing post decided to get in the way of my path, making my toe snap horribly. Luckily my wolf-powers healed that bad boy up quickly, but that didn't stop the anger from piling on. Even though technically that incident wasn't Emmett's fault, I was thinking about him at the time it happened so I blamed him due to the connect he had with the occurrence.

The familiar sound of rubber wheels against the house's large red rug in the lounge room hit my ears as terrible words were about to fall out of my mouth.

"So, how was your day yesterday? First day all over again, huh?" My dad was smiling from ear to ear, proud of his son and the accomplishes of his second first day of school

"Yeah, great," I said, moodiness filling the words of my reply. I didn't mean to take it out on him; he was just the closest thing within reach at that time. I should have actually been thanking him for making me feel slightly better with his enthusiasm.

"Come now, tell Papa all about your troubles." My dad never usually joked, but he always mocked me in my teen angst moments.

"It's nothing, really," I smiled to reassure him, "I didn't mean to moody, I just didn't sleep well." I lied, having the natural ability to make people believe me. It wasn't always a good thing, especially when I had finished talking to my dad, having breakfast, getting dressed, clean9ing my teeth and walking outside, when I was faced with Alice.

"Howdy partner," she said with a fake southern accent, "care for a ride in my wagon." I couldn't help but laugh at her ridiculous attire, consisting of a leather jacket with a leather fringe over a button up chequered shirt and jeans tucked into cowboy boots, complete with a ten-gallon hat.

"Sure," my lying being a problem at that point. If I were a bad liar, Alice would have realised I didn't want to ride with her and she would have left. But my cheesy smile and half-assed answer got my one ticket in a flashy car to school with a perky vampire… curses.

"You went to all that trouble of getting dressed up just to use that stupid line to invite me into your car." I couldn't help but laugh.

"No, we have a drama assignment where we have to make up another character for ourselves to be for a day," she casually explained away her silly clothing choice as we drove out of the driveway and onto the road away from the Reservation.

I was actually starting to like my lying more, but to be honest, I guess the lie wasn't much of a lie after all; I did care for a right in her wagon.

"So-" I began, but was cut off immediately.

"I really just want to say sorry for yesterday, I honestly didn't know what I had done and I wanted to see what was wrong, but you ran off and I didn't think following you was a good idea-" it was then my turn to cut her off.

"Really, don't worry about it. Later on I realised that I was angry at how naive I was."

"Why naïve?"

"Because I thought maybe you guys had started to like me."

"You mean all of us, as opposed to me, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme?" She questioned, curious, not angry.

"Well," I paused as I thought about what she was saying. What I realised was that I just didn't want them to hate me, not so much as actually like me, so I verbalised that thought. "I just didn't want you all to hate me, that's all. I'm not asking for a miracle. And then when I saw the other two staring at me… I don't know what I was thinking. Honestly it was just stupid."

"That's not a hard thing to ask, I understand that. Can I make a suggestion?" She stayed calm-faced as she looked at me.

"Suggestion?" I didn't really get what she meant, was she referencing my attitude, way of life, my clothes?

"Just suggesting something that may have been bothering you about the situation," she explained, "I've always been able to tell true causes of problems. It usually helps when Jasper diagnoses what emotion is the strongest, but I can tell you feel betrayed."

I couldn't help but widen my eyes as I continued to look out onto the road ahead of us Slice was driving on; she was right.

"An you can tell me if I'm wrong, but I'm thinking it's because your pack has accepted my clan as best as they can, but on _our_ part, some of us," Alice shifted her eyes around, trying not to blame anyone, but I knew who she meant, "have been less than happy with the arrangements."

She was so right. I nodded slowly as I thought off all the undiagnosed problems in my life that are now just distant memories in which I could have used Alice to tell me what my true problem was, as opposed to the days of rolling around on my bed trying to think through the frustration.

"Don't worry, things will get better." She smiled and I knew she was just being nice, mostly because, once again, she couldn't see _my_ future, but mostly because she then quickly hugged me, taking her hands off the wheel for a split second before returning to her driving.

"Thanks… Alice." It felt weird to say her name aloud without following it with 'leech' or 'blood-sucker'; I guess this is how she felt yesterday when she said Jacob.

"No problem."

"So Jasper actually likes me?" I couldn't help it, my curiosity was taking over.

"Yeah, why wouldn't he?"

"I don't know… he just seems a bit detached towards me."

"Jacob, he detached from everyone, it's all the blood he's trying to avoid, not people. He has to use all he might to stop attacking everyone. In a few years he'll be all better."

"And Carlisle and Esme?"

"What parent doesn't like to seem their children playing with their pet dog?" She laughed and honestly, I didn't care that I was referred to as a pet, or a dog, or even their pet dog. I knew she meant to harm by it, so I laughed.

"And you?" I didn't know if I was pushing it, but when she smiled and looked sideways at me, I knew I wasn't.

"I have special reasons, but I just have to see if they are true yet before I tell you." I was so curious at that point that it hurt, but I left it, I knew it wouldn't be long before I would ask again.

"Thanks Alice, it's been hard with all this stuff, with your family and mine."

"No problem, now that you know what's wrong, you just have to figure out how to solve it, I can help. Rosalie won't be hard to win over; I'll just throw clothes at her-" we both laughed "-and Emmett-"

"Don't worry about him." I gritted my teeth as I remembered once again what he had said the day before. Anger replaced the initial shock of the event and I felt distanced from Alice through her relationship of a "sibling" with him. _There go all the team building activities we just went through._

"Did something happen with him? Is that why he wanted to talk to you last night? What's wrong?" Alice raised an eyebrow, noticing my tension.

"No and nothing."

"It can't be nothing, you can tell me about it. I'm quite good at keeping secrets, so I've been told." She placed her small hand on my forearm as she tried to soothe me.

"It's really nothing that I have to talk about," I shrugged her hand off my arm, "don't bother getting that leech to like me; I have a feeling he won't anyway." Reluctantly a tear fell from my eye, remembering my mother and how he had used her against me like that, what a low-life.

"Jacob, you don't have to worry, I heard Emmett afterwards and he was sorry for whatever happened, he wouldn't mean something that would hurt someone intentionally."

The single tear ran down my cheek, leaving a salty trail in its wake. Missing the corner of my mouth, it ran to the edge of my chin and jumped off, landing on the denim of my jeans on my lap. Alice's head turned towards the tear and realised I was crying. Well, less _crying_ and more just _cry_ and a singular, not plural.

We pulled into the parking lot of the school as she continued to convince me.

"Seriously Jacob, I'm here as a friend, not as the enemy to try and infiltrate your defences. Just tell me what happened." But it was too late, the old, angst-y, cut-off-from-the-world Jacob was already back, that was enough sharing for one car trip.

I stepped out of the car with my bag and my sorrow, slammed the door shut with little effort and walked off to my first class. It wasn't going to start for another five minutes, but sitting in a Maths classroom for that time was better than cold-shouldering Alice.

I wondered slowly there, arriving seconds before the bell rang. I opened the door with the teacher there, smiling at me and my "enthusiasm for learning" was how he put it.

"Really, it's nice to see someone who enjoys Maths at your age; usually it takes a few more years to truly appreciate the art of Mathematics. It's good to see you buddying up with someone yesterday just as motivated as you." Something felt weird; my inner wolf was warning me about this situation. It was like a scene from a movie, everything went still, only Mr Hamper's words continued through the silence. I simultaneously realised what was up as he reminded me by accident. "Honestly, the only other person that has an apparent attraction to Maths like yours is Emmett."

Maths… shit!

The bell had rung during the silent panic I had to try and figure out what to do. I mumbled out some words to Mr Hamper like 'thanks' and 'maths comes naturally to me' or some bullshit like that; the usually stuff you say to a teacher who is praising you on something you are terrible at.

Students filed in around me, taking their seats. I had two options, steal someone else's seat and risk having them hate me, or tell Mr Hamper I was sick and dying and needed to leave…. Apparently there was a third option I was unaware of; the have-a-vampire-shuffle-you-back-to-your-seat-with-his-body-so-it-looked-like-you-were-caught-in-the-crowd… and as there were quite a lot of people still entering the classroom, it didn't look too suspicious, so I didn't want to raise suspicion by retaliating.

"What!" I hoarsely whispered out of the corner of my mouth as I sat down and pretended to pay attention to what Mr Hamper was saying.

"The value of the pronumeral will change…"

"Will you stop being so sharp with me and let me explain?" Emmett seemed indifferent about my threat-covered words.

I turned my shoulder as far away from him as I could without it seeming obvious to the rest of the class that I was ignoring him. I didn't usually act like a petty little girl, but I guess that was New Jacob coming out in me.

"Oh, come on, seriously? Can you please just listen; I tried to tell you last night but-" Emmett pleaded under his breath, having only my sensitive ears listening, but he was cut off my Mr Hamper starting the lesson.

"So can anyone tell me how to complete the-" he extended the sound of the 'e' in 'the' as he stalled, searching the sheet to find a question to be answered "- fifth question on the sheet?" Mr Hamper continued with his teaching and looked in my direction… I knew I'd regret boasting to him about my "Maths fetish"; I knew he was going to pick me.

"Jacob?" He raised an eyebrow challenging me.

_Damn! Why the _fifth _one? _I thought to myself. I knew I could have done any of the questions before it, why did he have to start at the fifth?

Just then, mumbled instructions came to my ear as I realised Emmett was helping me, whispering quietly, and once again using super-low speech so only I would hear. I remembered everything he said, and would easily have been able to relay it to the class, but I still had my pride, and he wasn't getting off that easy.

"I-I… don't know, Sir… sorry," I faltered out as he shot me one of those half-disappointed, half-"re-analysing his view on me" looks before scanning the rest of the class, all who averted their eyes, not wanting to have to answer such a simple question and prove the new tough guy stupid. I gritted my teeth as I knew what they were thinking, I could tell from the way they shifted around and from their scent… fear. Not the kind of fear like "I might get it wrong" but definitely afraid of having such a large guy like me bashing them 'out the back' when the bell rang.

"Emmett?" Obviously Emmett was his last choice. There was always that person in every class that knows every answer to every question and the teacher always uses them as a backup in case no one else can answer it. As much as I hated Emmett in the first place, that had nothing to do with my labelling him as that guy; the Teachers Pet.

_And he called me a dog…_

"Um… well, I know the answer but so does Jacob; he has it written on his sheet." My eyes, which were staring at the back of some kid in the front row's head in shame, widened as I turned to faced Emmett. Did he honestly think he was going to-

And then I saw him gesturing to the sheet of paper in front of me. It was my sheet, but instead of being tucked in at the back of my book with just my scribbles and half finished answers, it was also sporting some fancy equations, somehow in my hand writing.

Without having to be told, I already knew he had used his super-human speed to take the page out, copy my handwriting and put all the answers in.

"So he has," Mr Hamper gave an appreciative look at Emmett for telling the truth, and a confused look at me as to why I would lie, "I guess with Mr Black and Mr Cullen finishing their work, the rest of you slackers can do that as homework for Thursday while you all start this new work sheet. Firstly, though, copy these notes off the black board."

Everyone groaned at the future work they had to add to their afternoon as the slow shuffle to get pens and books to start copying the notes began. The silence stretched on just as long as the note taking did. Mr Hamper was one of those teachers who just seemed to pick up momentum the longer they stood in front of the cold, dark green slab. Maybe it was the chalk dust meddling with his brain, or maybe just the power trip he was getting from the superiority he had over our knowledge, but he just didn't stop.

Most people huffed as they looked up to continue writing and realising there was more on the other side of the board; bad for most people who hated writing, good for me as I was avoiding having to actually work.

All the while I ignored Emmett and his "Heroic Act of Kindness", which really just set me up for failure the next time I was asked to give an answer. Every now and again he his head would turn ever so slightly in my direction, and then his eyes would flick to me for the merest of seconds before he looked away again.

As per the day before, I continued my same routine of completing the first few questions. That day I _did_ finish to the fifth question, partly out of motivation to try and not let Mr Hamper down, whose eye-twinkle showed his faith in my abilities, but mostly to prove Emmett wrong; I could do these questions if I really tried.

_Who am I kidding?_ I internally punched myself for even thinking I could do well with the new page of questions. The sixth question pushed me over and the seventh and eighth beat me to a pulp.

I subconsciously looked around, I often did. Staring at trees in the distance and books on shelves gave me better answers than what my stupid head could.

I glanced at some kids watch, the bell was about to ring, and Mr Hamper didn't seem as though he was making any attempt to try and herd the class in for a summary, so once again I bludged my time; waiting.

A small throat-clearing caught my attention as I turned to my left to see who it was. My curiosity and my "Ignore the Prat" Streak were both broken simultaneously as I saw it was Emmett getting my attention.

_Damn…_

"Would you like some help?" Emmett asked genuinely, complete with a supportive smile and marginally raised eyebrows; he had obviously noticed my blank page and thought that his charity work could be continued.

"No, I'm fine." Avoiding my aggressive side, I decided to take it a little more passive. I knew it wasn't the nicest solution, but I had occasionally given people the cold shoulder, acting nonchalant and indifferent; it was my way of guilt tripping them.

Back when I knew I would just be digging myself deeper in petty arguments with my father, I would let him win on a yelling note, knowing that the next few minutes of acting normal, with a hint of The Droopies, would guilt him into giving me what I wanted. Nowadays I used it to such a slight degree that it would completely unaffect my day, but to the other person, it would make them feel like shit. Sometimes it didn't work, but Emmett actually seemed regretful enough about what he said that it might just work.

So in response to his question, I pouted my bottom lip, just a tiny bit so it looked like a sobbing child, then moved my forearm subtly as if to cover my work from him, even though I knew he had already seen it, and said, "No, I'm fine," laced with just enough pride for him to think I didn't already know he knew I was struggling.

The perfect execution.

Standing on the edge of the large, blue square covering the springy floor, the small person inside me acted like a gymnast when finishing a Floor routine; doing the cheesy arms-in-the-air bowing thing.

The bell rang, so I did what everyone else was doing, turned to put their things in their bag and head to the cafeteria for recess, but unlike everyone else, I turned my back on Emmett, covering the small victory smile spreading across my face. For a split second my face shone like the sun, happy with using something I was actually good at in a class I was going to fail, before it returned to completely unemotional, the face Emmett saw the profile of as I left the classroom.

"So, how was Maths?" Alice spoke in a singing way as she slid onto the chair opposite mine for recess.

"Fine. It's not like you have to check up on me after every single lesson, you know?" Ever since I had first gotten there, Alice had asked me about ever class I had just had; it was slightly annoying.

"I want to," Alice put on a fake angry face, "besides; I hear Maths is your hidden talent?" Even though it started off as a simple statement, the end flicked up into a question.

I avoided her eye, didn't answer her question; she was obviously referring to the story of me "lying" about not knowing how to answer the questions.

_How does she know about that?_

"Oh seriously, Jacob? This is high school, everyone knows about anything weird that happens within a matter of seconds…" That didn't really seem true, so her next sentence explained it. "Plus Emmett told me to talk to you about it."

I sighed, my eyes wandered the cafeteria. I saw Emmett with Rosalie out of the corner of my eye and I glazed over them with my vision slowly, lingering on Emmett for the smallest of times and then looked back down at what I was eating.

Although he didn't actually look at me, I knew that he could see me out of the corner of his eye. Just as I looked down at my food, not smiling because I knew he would look at me, he did just that, looked at me. He had obviously seen the sad expression on my face, because he inturn looked down at his food with a matching facial expression…

Evil laughter rang throughout my mind. Ha. Ha. Ha.

"He didn't mean anything about what he said yesterday, it was an accident, and he told me all about it. What he really meant-"

"Don't worry about it," I interrupted her with my less-than-average speed of voice, "I knew what he meant, I was just shocked at the time, it was silly of me to get angry about it." Step one after actually making someone feel bad was to forgive them, make out you're the Big Man.

Alice placed her hand on my forearm just as she had when we were in her care that same day. "I'm glad you understand, it really wasn't something nice to say, he said he thought you were joking together, but he took it too far, and he didn't mean it like that." I looked up and found that the reassuring and soothing words weren't what her facial expression reflected, her face was uneasy. Not because she didn't mean what she was saying, but uneasy as to how I would react. But as I looked up at her, she gave me a confidence-boosting smile, leaving behind her unease, sure that I wasn't going to snap at her. Her smile meant I had succeeded in pulling off a confidence-less smile… Excellent.

"It's fine, I forgive him for that, but it doesn't mean he needed to keep rubbing in my face that I am terrible at Maths."

_Step one… check!_

"I knew he could hear me, and I knew that he didn't know that I knew he could hear me. So he continued to eavesdrop, pretending not to, as I "poured my heart out" to Alice.

"You're probably not that bad at Maths, and Emmett said he only did that to help. I have to admit that he's right when he said that it was a stupid idea, but it's the thought that counts, right?"

"Sure, his intention may have been pure," some of my actual anger started to fall into my voice as I realised how screwed I was for Thursday, "but that doesn't make me any smarter." I hissed at her, not trying to hurt her feelings, but sometimes venting your anger meant those around you would get caught in the cross fire.

Alice narrowed her eyes before widening them in realisation.

"Yeah, now I'm going to have to keep getting these answers right like that and I have no idea how to do it!" I was whispering, but yelling as I did so, so it really just meant I was talking.

"Yeah, that's a bummer…" she absent-mindedly pushed her food around as a tho0ught crossed her mind. "Hey, I know what can solve both of these problems!"

"_Both_ problems?" I had no idea there was a second problem.

"Yeah! Emmett can pay you back and you can get better at Maths if he tutored you!"

There was a dilemma with that, and I had two options that I could choose from. One would be to decline her offer, meaning I would ruin my guilt tripping spree, Emmett would be back on level playing grounds, but the positive would mean I wouldn't have to talk to or hang out with the idiot.

My second option was to accept the offer; I would be back on track with my plans and have even_ more_ leverage on Emmett, but that would mean I'd actually have to talk to the fucker…

_Actually_, I thought, _I wouldn't really have to talk to him; just mope around his questions while I planned what I would do next in my garage. WIN-WIN!_

"I guess so, I mean, I really need the help, and he is pretty good at Maths, but please don't let him know I asked." Still knowing he could hear, I slipped that in, it always handy to flatter the bastard I was manipulating, it seemed to hurt them more, knowing what they had said to get me into the depressed stated was against someone who was actually nice to them.

"Don't worry about it, Honey, I'll make sure he thinks it's his whole idea." Alice smiled and we continued eating and talking about other stuff. All the while I smiled, not because of what Alice thought, because I was enjoying myself, but because of my new found hobby.

_If this were any juicier, it would be shiny, red, and a Pink Lady._


	3. Alone Time Take Two

**AN-** Sorry it took me so long to write this chapter. I hadn't even looked at this story for weeks (however long since last chapter) then last night I stayed awake for long - too long - to get it right.

After writing this chapter, I have honestly no idea where this story is heading. If that is discouraging to anyone, sorry, but it's true. And not in a bad way, likie I'm lost... It's more of a I-have-a-new-direction-that-I-seriously-hadn't-considered-until-the-events-that-unfolded-in-this-chapter-occured kind of way.

**Disclaimer -** I do not own Twilight or anything else in this story.

That same day, I came home from school, tired and had a small amount of homework to do which I knew was only going to get big as the days passed.

As usual my afternoon routine played out, consisting of mostly eating, and I sat down with my father at the dinner table to have dinner.

"So how'd the second day go, Jacob?"

I knew he wasn't really interested in the ins and outs of the day so I just said, "Fine," as I continued to push the bits of food around my plate, eagerly waiting for the room in my mouth to reduce so I could shovel more in.

"Nothing happen at all?"

"Well," I figured I might as well warn him, "I'm probably going to be studying with some friends sometime soon, I'm not sure when, I'll let you know as soon as I do."

"That's great, I'm glad to hear your socialising with new people. That is if I'm correct in assuming these friends aren't just Bella?" He stopped eating for a second as he gauged my temper, he was clear for the time being.

"I don't want to talk about her."

"Why not?" He asked seeming genuinely concerned.

"Because she's not at school."

"Why not?"

"Because she decided to apply for the exchange at leave the school with her vampire friend on the same day that I came." I was getting annoyed at his questions and tried to put enough emphasis on my words to halt his interrogation.

"Why get angry at that?" Obviously didn't work.

"Because she's supposed to be my friend and I only took the spot so I could see her and she left anyway because her stupid boyfriend is manipulating her into not seeing those people who care for her!" My words blurred together as I tried to push all the words out at once, so that I could skip to focusing on controlling my anger sooner than the sentence would let me.

"I see you're upset about that, but at least you have these other friends now that you can work with, so I guess it all turned out for the best." At that moment I remembered that the "friends" I had newly made were actually people I hated. My anger was accelerated by this realisation, but I didn't want to take it out on my dad, so I just smiled and let the water boil over the saucepan as the stove burnt onwards.

His words carried on, taking a new topic about fishing and whatnot, but I wasn't listening, I was trying to eat and not yell, eat and not destroy something, eat and not cry.

Eventually I went back to my homework on "Compare the two characters in your study and evaluate the ideas they portray through symbolisation and personification of their animal beings."

"What the hell is the supposed to mean?" I question to the air. I looked at the clock sitting next to my bed, still ticking away as it always did and I came to the conclusion that the question didn't make sense because it was so late. And even though the next morning I still couldn't understand the question, I convinced myself not to feel guilty, under the notion that working at such a late hour – eight thirty – was criminal.

It was that time of night when I needed something to occupy my time. Too early to go to bed, too late to go outside and work on my bike... I dreaded this time every night, the time between active bliss and sleeping bliss. Usually I would have something extremely interesting that I would be involved in, before looking up and realising it was late enough to sleep. But on occasions I would find myself with nothing to do and spare time I didn't want. In those times I would fill the void with some _Jacob_ Time, but the incident with my stupid mental slip-ups had shaken me; I was too afraid to go back there.

My eyes scanned the room, looking for something to do. The open window had a cool breeze that night and the towel I hung over the end of my bed to dry it out gave me the brilliant idea to have a shower.

_Showers,_ I thought, _code word for calming, private times in which my life is one hundred percent simpler and one hundred and fifty percent warmer._

I stuck my head out of the crack in my bedroom door. The lights downstairs were off, that meant dad had gone to bed to read or was intensely watching the highlights of the sports on the TV. That meant I could start my calming, private time with a showering ritual I had had since I was ten or so.

It all started when a friend had told me about his trip to Canada, where it was freezing all year round and they filled in time by sitting in the saunas that nearly every household owned. The men would walk naked from their houses before they made it to the saunas for a ceremony in the beginning of winter.

So that night, I had wanted to try it, to have a ritual of my own, for fun – mostly because the pack had so many of their own rituals – and I had done it, up until puberty. And with the growth spurts came the shame, so I stopped, and when my sisters moved out, I started again, whenever my dad wasn't looking.

It wasn't that I was embarrassed to be naked in front of other people, because I wasn't, especially in front of my own family, being a wolf meant a lot of nudity, it was because I didn't want the questions, I wanted it to be my ritual.

Even growing up and realising my dad would just assume that's how I made my way to the bathroom, it was just tradition.

So retracting my head from the hallway, I walked over to my bed, picked the towel up from the end and threw it onto my pyjamas that were near my pillow. I also grabbed my iPod that I listened to when I got out, and my tooth brush.

I quickly walked to the stairs railing, this time hearing the TV on, confirming my earlier suspicions, just making sure it was clear, before returning to my room. I lifted my shirt over my head, the blue fabric falling to the ground from my hand as I stood next to my bed, absorbing the moment. There was something about being naked that meant freedom, not like being naked as a wolf, but as a human had a more thrilling quality. The cool air knew its cue as a slight breeze once again pushed through the open window. The small hairs all over my body began to stick up, causing goose bumps all over my body, along with my nipples becoming hard.

I popped the button undone as the black pants I wore as they join my shirt on my floor. The hair on my legs stood up as the thighs also covered in goose bumps. I exhaled shakily as I began to feel the cool of the night setting in. I sucked in a short, sharp breath as my cold hands touched just above the elastic of my boxers. I let the green of the cotton mix with the blue and black on the ground as the wolf that lay dormant behind the boxers slowly awoke.

The still air seemed to dance between my legs, somehow moving without having to move at all. The soft skin on my lower back was brushed softly by the atmosphere. I felt my ass muscles tense slightly, bringing the front even more awake, as the wind pushed through the portal.

Snapping out of my daze, I knew the sensual part was over and I could enjoy the warmth of the water when I got there.

I picked up my bundle of things and made my way to the bathroom, sill lucky that my dad was still preoccupied with sporting and whatnot. My footsteps silently slapped the ground as my semi-hard dick slapped the inside of my right thigh. My mind wanted so badly to reach down and help myself out, but my heart didn't want to feel betrayed by the images my Mind's Eye created again.

So I continued walking the length of the hall, feeling more aroused with each step. My cock would slide down my right thigh as I step forward, slap down on my thigh as I step with my right foot, then slide up along the thigh as I moved forward with my left foot, then dangle freely as I stood forward on my left leg.

But, like my body, my willpower was strong than other people's, and I controlled myself not to, and ignored it.

I closed my eyes and let the water do it's magic. The rain of warm water on my back was heaven. I fell into my showering trance as I let the continual beating of water rush over me. The smell of water even made me smile.

The minutes passed as I made no move to get out of the comfort. The water ran through my hair, over my shoulder, my chest my stomach, around my bulge, over my thighs, down my leg, and finally rushed to the tiled floor and down the drain.

I opened my eyes to see this flow and noticed my member had calmed down, less eager to get my attention, but I also notice the glistening water drops over my body, the parts that weren't being flooded with water. The smooth skin just to the right of my stomach seemed so soft to touch, I wanted to stroke it.

I'd never noticed my body in this way. I knew I had inherited genetics that gave me a nice body, but I'd never appreciated it from an outsider's point of view, it had always been from my eyes. Like my skin was tanned, just tanned, and my legs were muscular, just muscular. My feet were big, my shoulders were broad, and my arms had the functional use of aiding my eating, fixing and stroking the tension out of my dick in the form of a pearly liquid.

But now my chest was broad, manly, and something that made me intimidated to look at as I looked on as a third person. It wasn't just the large part of my upper body that made it difficult to fit into button up shirts. Sure stretch cotton T-shirts fit, stretching to their limits, but things that didn't stretch, didn't fit. It wasn't just the protruding area that supported my nipples, the two dark brown pleasure buttons I used to sky rocket my orgasm. It was the nicely sculpted flesh that held the droplets nicely against the light from the moonlight coming in through the window.

My stomach wasn't just where my food went, it was lightly shaped with skin coloured valleys and mountains. At that moment it was pushing out slightly as I tried to keep the water running on my body for as long as possible, and it made the small hairs point downward to my Golden Treasure.

And from the new view I had adopted, it had become just that, a Golden Treasure. Before it had been the organ that got in the way when I wore skinny leg jeans once in a while, the thing I peed with, but at the same time the best part of me that made me yearn to touch it. Even then it was still just something functional, now it was something to look at too. It was golden, as I said, more than the rest of me and thick, juicy – a nice steak to sink my teeth into.

_That metaphors pushing the limits a bit,_ I laughed at myself. But I was still amazed at how I had never noticed these things before.

"Jacob, hurry up in there. Water isn't something that grows on trees." It hadn't been that long, but before I could argue for a few more minutes of serenity, I felt the throb of my fully erect penis and left the shower in fear of what I might do if I stayed too long.

An hour or so had passed and I lay awake on my back, trying to go to sleep. I knew it was going to be hard journey, with so much built up in my groin.

My hard cock didn't stop as I dried off, put on my pyjamas, and made my way to bed. I rolled over onto my stomach and immediately felt my body rub against my bed. Somehow I rationalised with myself that grinding the sheets wasn't too bad and if I focused on the calendar I had once stolen from a Playboy magazine, I wouldn't have an troubles.

I slipped it out from under the bed, propped it up against my head board and slowly created the delicious friction between my cock and my bed.

It was more effort than using my hands, and less effective, but I was getting into it, so I removed my shirt and felt a small bead of sweat run down my face. The lack of underwear once again came in handy and the loose fabric of my pyjama shorts pulled the skin off my cock's head, and then slowly slid it back over.

The women in the photos weren't as good as the motions I could get them to do in my imagination, but it was still better than the alternative.

I kept low to the bed, picking up my pace. The breaths turned from silent puffs of air to heavy grunts with accidental words like "yeah" and "come one" falling as I tried to muster the strength to push myself that little bit further.

The edge was so close I could feel it. I subconsciously raised my body slightly, licking my fingers and pinching my right nipple together as I continued to dominate my bed. The sheets were submissive to my mounting, but I eventually gave up on the white cotton's passive attempt as pleasuring me and resorted to my hand.

"Oh God!" I huffed as I began to stroke my length. The feeling was amazing. The comparison of plain sheets to my warm hand was phenomenal. I changed hands, something I was admired for by Quil and Embry, and I licked my right fingers to play with my left nipple and continue the stroking of my cock with my left hand.

A thought about that time flashed into my head as I continued to stroke furiously.

_We sat around in a group at Embry's place for a sleep over. We had just entered our second year of high school together and were running through puberty quickly, almost at the end. We still had a little squeak in our voices, but were pretty much what we were now._

_I rested my back against Embry's bed in his room, Quil leant against the pull out bed for him, and Embry sat up in front of his chest of drawers. My pull out was on the other side of Quil's, there was just enough room for us to have a few inches between us sitting cross legged on the floor._

"_So Rebecca's hot, right Quil?" Embry asked._

"_Dude, that's my sister," I couldn't believe they had said that in front of me._

"_Doesn't mean she's not hot," Quil replied._

"_SERIOUSLY!"_

"_Yeah, sorry, Jacob, besides, Quil's mum is hotter." Embry apologised with a smirk._

"_Hey, back off. That's my mum, Jacob's sister is different." Quil stopped laughing at me as he heard this._

"_Now you know how I feel."_

"_Fellas, don't worry about it, both of your relatives will be out of my mind when we move to somewhere sunny, and the babes on beaches aren't wearing wet suits." Embry settled the wrestling match that threatened to break loose._

_Quil nodded in agreement, "I know, dude, I can't wait to get away from here."_

"_I donno," I piped up, "I mean there are some pretty girls around here, they don't have to be naked."_

"_What are you Jacob," Embry laughed, "some kind of homo?"_

"_NO!" I shot back a little too defensively, "I mean... no."_

"_I mean, I don't care if you are, my Uncle's gay, I think," Embry thought about this to himself, "anyway, I'm just wondering about what you think when you look at a girl."_

"_What do you mean?" I asked._

"_Well if they're hot when they have clothes on, it must be easy for you to..." he raised an eye brow._

"_To... respect them?" I thought Embry was trying to be all mature about things, that was SO not what sleepovers were about._

"_To like..." Embry fiddled with the hem of his shirt as he looked at the ground._

"_You mean to choke your turkey?" Quil laughed at Embry's innocence, which he was yet to spoil with restless night tips. I joined in laughing hysterically as I had never heard it being called that before, but I knew what he meant._

"_Playing some baseball?" I contributed, fanning myself to stop my cheeks flushing from laughter._

"_I just meant masturbating." Embry seemed slightly annoyed at our making fun of him, but more curious to know the answer to his question. "So?"_

"_So what?" Quil asked._

"_Do you find it easy to masturbate-" he lowered his voice to a whisper to say the last word "-because you find girls hot even when they're not naked?" He finished off his sentence in a normal voice confident his parents weren't eavesdropping as they were in the dining room._

"_Well, I just kind of do it. Why do you ask, do you find it difficult?" I didn't understand what he meant._

_Luckily Quil did because he said, "I know what you mean, like it's hard to keep the images in your head. It's hard to keep your little guy hard when you're not directly thinking about pounding some chick."_

_Embry nodded, but sheepishly, embarrassed to admit it._

"_Yeah, I guess," I didn't have that problem," don't you just focus on the touching and stuff, less about the thinking?" Once I had finished asking, I realised how awkward it had become; the others didn't seem to think so._

"_Sure, but it's like the visuals that keep you going." Quil seemed like an expert. He had hit puberty a few months before Embry and I who made it at the same time, but he acted more confident with his answers; wiser._

"_I don't really need much, just myself." I stopped feeling awkward and start thinking about what the other guys were saying._

"_I just can't seem to keep it up."_

"_Embry," Quil started dramatically, "you're a brave man for saying that. Just use magazines and other pictures and stuff. That way you don't have to concentrate on keeping it hard and trying to think of chicks, too."_

_Just as he said that, Embry pulled out a stack of his magazines. "I'd never seen much use in them before."_

"_Score! Pass me one," Quil lunged forward to grab the top one off the pile._

_We all looked at the different pictures of chick half naked, some naked, and showed each other our findings._

"_Use this one when you're about to shoot." Quil suggested to Embry._

"_Why?"_

"_Because them you can start up a collect with the spunk that's already here." Quil laughed crazily and he threw the magazine at me. Sure enough there was a dried over patch where two pages had been stuck together and Quil had ripped them apart._

"_Give it back," Embry said casually as he snatched it out of my hand._

"_Guess you have found a use in them after all," I teased._

"_Forgot about it since I usually think about Rebecca." Embry was obviously embarrassed Quil's discovery and his casual tone was just a cover up._

_Quil and Embry both laughed as my face went bright red._

"_HOLY SHIT, GUYS!" Both Quil and Embry laughed at me as I became defensive again._

"_Don't worry about it, I don't think about Becs when I'm having my time," Quil reassured me._

"_Thanks... Good to know," I replied sarcastically, "I can't be so sure about Embry."_

"_Yeah, I'm all about Embry's mum on my downward flick." Quil cacked himself as Embry was about to object then thought up a question I also wanted to know._

"_What the hell is a downward flick?"_

"_It's like a-" Quil motioned his hand in a wanking motion with a twist at the top and some fancy wrist action._

"_I just call that my normal choking the turkey," I said, realising what he meant._

"_I still don't get it. How does that work?" Embry was seriously the little innocent one; how I could believe he actually said that stuff about my sister I had no idea._

_I looked at Embry, shaking my head in disbelief at his stupidity, thinking Quil would be doing the same, but when Embry's eyes widen with shock, I looked back at Quil._

"_It's like this." While I was death staring Embry, Quil had flopped out his big one, demonstrating what he had just mimed to convey his point._

_Just like Embry, I was shocked in speechlessness, partly because of Quil's bravery of showing his dick to a bunch of guys, but mostly because he was rubbing one out in front of them._

"_What?" Quil questioned at Embry, "how else were you going to learn, plus I already had a hard on, how else did you think I was going to get rid of it._

_Quil continued to stroke his cock as he spoke, it had slowly pulsed into its full size since he had gotten it out._

"_Jacob doesn't care, do you, Jacob?" Quil looked at me and smirked when he saw me gob-smacked, still staring at his courage. "Don't worry about it fellas, we can't all carry weapons like these." He laughed, pretending we were shocked at its size, "yeah, heaving this bad boy around comes with its problems, always busting the zips of my pants."_

"_It's not even that big," Embry's pride kicked him out of his haze._

"_Wanna bet?" Quil chuckled, "don't be shy; you could pick up a few tricks."_

_After Embry had taken out his member, and a few silent minutes had passed, Quil waiting for me to do the same, I did, not wanting to miss out on some bonding._

"_Phaahh, Jacob, packing some meat there!" Quil still seemed to be the expert, but you didn't need an expert to see what was going on. "Well Embry's is the longest."_

"_Yeah, yours is the fattest." Embry said._

"_Some heavy stuff I've got here. But Jacobs, yours is an all rounder." I had never thought of it that way. _

_Embry's was longer, and skinnier than mine, while Quil's was short and thicker._

"_Eh, don't worry about it, I hear chicks have their likes for different things, but we're pretty even." Quil was right, they were all pretty much the same, just slightly more or less each way._

_We sat in silence for a few minutes, stroking back our cocks and flicking through magazines. Embry's family had gone to bed by now and we were left to ourselves._

_Embry awkwardly eyed Quil's and my technique every now and then to try and copy it._

"_Seriously," Quil breathed, slightly through frustration at Embry's ignorance and slightly due to the tension ever-so-slightly building, "don't worry about what masturbating is like, just focus on what happening to you."_

"_Yeah, seriously, like Quil likes his upside down flicking, but it's not for me, I prefer my cradling." I laughed as I exaggeratedly cupped my balls in my hands and gently massaged them._

_Embry did the same, trying too hard to make it work._

"_Really, just listen to what we're saying. Ignore everything else, what you think you know, and just let what feels good happen," I instructed him._

_While Embry huffed and turned the page in the magazine, focusing on not focusing, I went back to my routine; sliding my hand up the inside of my thigh, right up until it touched my sack, then sliding it down again._

"_Wanna know what a handy feels like?" After a few minutes of silent quality time, Quil's voice broke through my reverie. I didn't know whether or not he was talking to me, but when I opened my eyes, he was looking straight at me._

"_What!" My voice broke in shock as I was surprised at his question. What was he playing at?_

"_A handy, like a hand job. Like when someone strokes a guys with their hands to make them shoot, you know... a handy?" Quil explained, completely serious and not joking like I thought he would be._

"_I know what a hand job is, I just don't get why you're asking me." I was a little concerned, not that Quil was gay, he wasn't, and we were too young to care, just letting another guy touch me at all was weird enough. I looked over at Embry who we'd lost to his motion._

"_I don't know, you seem to like your touch and feel stuff and I thought I could help you out with that... I wanted to help out." It seemed like a funny explanation, so I quirked an eyebrow._

"_Ok, fine, don't get me wrong, I like chicks and everything, and I don't have a crush on you, I've just been thinking about what stroking another dick would be like. And yours looks pretty nice."_

_Now that he'd mentioned it, it was a strange thought to think what another cock would feel like, especially Quil's it was so thick, I had wondered when he'd first brought it out whether or not my hand would fit around it._

_Feeling too awkward to respond out loud, I crawled over to sit on Quil's left, leaning back against the pull out. By this stage Quil and I were both topless and all three of us had ditched our pants._

"_You can stop whenever you want," Quil said as I slowly eased backwards, my abs stretching out as my back touched the bed. "Oh, hey, can we switch sides? I can't use my left hand, and it'd be bad for you."_

_I nodded, still not sure if talking would cause me to vomit. I was so nervous, not sure what to expect. Would the future be awkward for Quil and I after this? Would this destroy the illusion of what my thoughts of sex would be like?_

"_It's cool, I can use my left." I final spat out, crawling over Quil to get to his right._

"_You can?" Quil seemed so shocked, it was only then that I realised not everyone was "bi-handy"._

"_Yeah."_

"_Shit, I wish I could use both, saves the stopping for breaks. How'd you learn?"_

"_I donno, I just kind of changed hands once and never thought twice about it. And as for breaks, I wouldn't know, I've never had to stop."_

_I sat down next to Quil, he smiled nervously as I smiled nervously back._

"_Ok then," Quil said as he took a deep, shaky breath, "here goes nothing, Jacob."_

"_Yeah," was all I could say._

_While Embry continued to pleasure himself, Quil slowly reached over with his right hand. His little finger skimming the skin just above my cock made me stagger my breath. From the talking my cock had started going down slightly so it lay flat against my well-defined lower abs._

"_Just a quick test," he said._

_His index finger slide underneath it, followed by his middle finger, with his thumb on top, he lifted it off my stomach, the rest of his finger curled around the shaft. All the while I took in one long, slow breath. When his hands were firmly around my cock, I had run out of room in my lungs, so I held my breath, not knowing what to do._

"_You can breath, Jacob." I let out my breath as he let go, then turned around so I was sitting next to him, but facing the opposite direction at the same time, my feet sliding under the bed as I went for his cock. My fingers closed around the meaty log that lay where mine had, but on Quil. Quil inhaled unsteadily like I had._

"_You can breath, Quil." I mocked Quil, trying to lighten the mood, but there was nothing light about Quil's cock. It a lot like mine, just a lot heavier. It was good, in a way, to feel what must have been something very... _powerful.

_It felt strange, like I had expected. Picking up Quil's cock, my mind had expected to feel what I usually felt when I grabbed my own dick, but I didn't. The skin was soft, and it felt backwards as the underside sat in my palm and the top lay under my fingers. The short hairs tickled my hand, but I persisted in my observation._

_A quick nod at Quil and I was ready. He resumed he position, hand between my legs, as I shook in another breath. I pulled back the skin on Quil's member, it slide gentler to mine, the skin was looser around the shaft. The head was much the same as mine, what I could see, and the balls were just balls, but the cock itself was very large. My hand it make it around, but just barely. My thumb and middle finger were just touching._

_As I stroked Quil, I began to ignore the realisations I was having about his dick. They began to repeat themselves, like the ridged feel it had, and the veiny look it had. I began to slip into my daze that I had whenever I rubbed one out, but this time, it was a little better._

"_Better than spanking one yourself, right?" Quill asked, and I let out an airy hum in reply. The back of my mind thought it was weird enough that I was letting a guy touch me, let alone touching my dick, let alone it being one of my best friends LET ALONE my soft moans of pleasure as each stroke gave me increasing pleasure._

"_Are you close?" He breathed._

"_Yeah, why?"_

"_You finish me off, then I'll finish you off?"_

"_Deal."_

_It seemed nice of Quil to off to finish first; I knew that if I had of finished first I would've had to force myself to finish off Quil._

_He let go of my cock, I felt a little warmth leave me, as he lay on his back, moving out from the bed. I continued what I was doing before, slowly stroking Quil, this time focusing on the differences. Where my cock would have been standing straight out from me, Quil's followed his body more, pointing up towards his head, and where my balls would have been bouncing lightly with the tugging movement, Quil's were firmer and just moved with the pulling of the skin._

_The thought of our differences gave me a thought._

"_Hey am I doing alright?" I was suddenly self-conscious about my technique._

"_Hmmm," Quil hummed back, "you're doing sooo good, man. Do what you were doing to yourself, if that's not pushing it too far."_

_I lifted myself up onto my knees, sitting on my heels, as I was on his right; I used my left hand to stroke him off and my right hand to move in and out of his thighs. They were nice thighs; I had to admit, from a girl's perspective. They looked dangerous during intercourse, muscular and strong like a vice..._

Snap out of it_, I thought._

_I moved from his thighs after a while to massage his sack. That seemed to set him off._

"_That's... it... I..." Quil tensed up as he grabbed onto his shirt from off the ground and bit down onto it._

_Quil's eyes shut tightly as he cock stiffened, this time pointing outward, almost directly out, and shot streams of white hot mess. The expulsion missed my hands and Quil and mostly landed on the bed behind him._

_I grabbed the bow of tissues off Embry's bed side table and used a few to clean Quil up. As strange as it was doing so, I felt it was nice to let him enjoy the end of his orgasm without needing to clean up afterward._

_I let go of Quil's cock, my hand felt a little empty, as it remained hard against his stomach, obviously not used to the third person stimulation._

"_Shit. That. Was. Awesome." Quil panted out as his climax slowly stopped. "Wew."_

_Quil placed a hand on my shoulder to pushing into a lying position. He picked up where he'd left off. My waiting cock seemed to have built up some of its own pressure. Quil asked me if he was doing alright, and I gasped out the same reply, asking if he'd increase the contact to help the process._

_I felt Quil's hand rubbing my lower abs, stroking towards my cock. He continued to massage various parts of my lower body before I broke through my pleasure field to ask a diar question._

"_Quil?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Can you..." I opened my eyes to gauge his reaction as I pinched my own nipple. His smile said it all as I closed my eyes, returning to bliss before I saw him lick his fingers and caress my right nipple._

_That added pleasure brought me closer, Quil knew, and he placed his still bare leg between mine, using it to gently rub my inner thighs and balls at the same time._

_That was it, all I needed. I panted fast and aggressively, trying to keeping it away. I fought off the pressure as Quil continued to stroke me and rub me and pinch me, but it was too much. One last lung full of air and then it shot everywhere. Unlike Quil's, my semen broke into small drops spraying everywhere, mainly due to the longer build up, and because Quil and sensed my ending and had stroked faster, more frantically, to give me a kick in a better direction._

As Jacob from the past came, the present Jacob began to come, the tension being built not from heavy breathing, but from years of practise. The last vision in my head was of Quil's cock so close to mine as I had the best orgasm of my life at that time.

"Quil," I whispered out as my orgasm arched my back and shot my liquids everywhere. My eyes snapped open like they had when Emmett had floated into my mind in my last session.

I had done it again, I didn't know how I had, but I'd let my mind get the better of me; now my lips betrayed me too

I cleaned myself off with the damp towel at the end of my bed, cursing at myself again. I wasn't sure why I was so angry, either because I had warned myself not to start this, and I had failed to listen to myself, or because now I was fantasising about Quil, too.

I couldn't decide which one, so I went to bed as I had many times before; not quite sure why I was angry.

_God, I could use some Alice diagnosis right now_.

At the time I couldn't tell, but subconsciously I knew I was so angry because I had enjoyed both of my most recent fantasies too much.


	4. How to Make a Day Worse

**AN:** Sorry it's been so long. I have written two chapters to upload at once if that makes up for it, and I hope you'll all forgive me.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight

How to Make a Day Worse

The sunlight filtered in through the window the next morning. I felt myself sprawled out over my bed; a restful night had left me in a strange position. I was lying diagonally across my bed, my head the furthest against the wall it could get, with my right leg hanging off the edge of the other side of the bed. My blankets and sheets had abandoned me during the night, and my right arm had gone dead as it lay awkwardly above my head.

After the disappointed I had felt last night, I pushed myself to sleep so fast I didn't even bother getting dressed.

I raised my head from my placement in the bed, having my right leg on the bed and my left leg off, it exposed my inner thigh to the sunlight beating in. the heat felt nice on my leg and lower abs, and my mind processed how attractive I looked in that moment.

_What!_ I had to stop thinking these things. Why had I suddenly noticed things about myself? Why did I think I looked good?

Snapping up to quickly get dressed made me realise an erection had started stirring while I checked myself out. It got in the way as I pulled on the closest items of clothes near me.

Once again I sat with my Dad as I had breakfast, shuffling whatever cereal was in the cupboard into a bowl and into my mouth in a matter of seconds.

"Well someone's a little nervous about this study thing today." I was cute that my dad tried to figure out the source of my stress, but I didn't comment, laugh, or say thanks, as he just reminded me of my dread again. Before it was just anger towards my lack of friends, now it included all this hate towards me. I had no Idea what I would do with so many people hating me in the same room.

"It's just a lot of work I need to catch up on," I smiled slightly, throwing him off the course of my distress.

"It's only the beginning of the semester, how much work could you have?"

"School... who knows what they're thinking. I wonder how Quil and Embry are getting on," I said to change subject... bad idea.

"Well, I don't know about Embry, but Quil and that girl he was with aren't a thing anymore."

"It's not called a "thing" anymore, pa." I went back to eating my breakfast, pondering the information newly accepted in silence.

In the car on the way to school with Alice, I realised this was the worse news I could have gotten after all that had happened.

Ever since the encounter at Embry's sleepover, we had met up occasionally to help out, masturbating seemed nothing compared to handjobs. We would only do it twice a year, maybe three times max, but it was enough, and we didn't think anything of it.

Quil was a handsome guy and went out with a lot of girls and the break ups usually left him a little drained and in need of a pick-me-up. So it became a healing process more than a time-filler; only used when we were upset. We never planned it, it just happened.

The last time Quil had a break up was the first time I had given head.

_We sat on the edge of the cliff where he others from the Reservation often dived off into the turbulent waters. Our feet dangled and sometimes touched awkwardly in the salty air._

"_So are you ok with it all?" I asked, trying to be supporting in a tense situation not suited for two men._

"_Well I kind of have to be, don't I? I don't have much say in her decisions, but I liked her so much, so it hurts." Though I wasn't looking at him, his slight sob gave aware efforts to cover up the crackling of his voice. A slight glance and I saw the shining streak down his face; a tell-tale sign of crying, and my stomach dropped in sympathy._

_I couldn't empathise with him, I had never been out with anyone before, but I knew of heart ache; I felt it with Bella. I rubbed his back silently for a few minutes hunched over his knees, rubbing his eyes to stop the tears. He leant back on his hand, letting the light cover him with warmth, so I moved to rubbing his thigh. Massaging the soft-skinned, hard-muscled area of his leg as he let the emotions run off the cliff, into the churning ocean below._

_I thought of what it would be like to jump off the cliff, completely ignoring the situation as I rhythmically rubbed Quil's thigh, up and down, up and down. My left hand on his right leg, the palm down with my hand circling his thigh; down to knee on the outside of his leg, up to crotch with fingers on inner thigh._

_As I continued my thoughts of flips and turns through the air, the sharp in takes of breath from Quil in time with my strokes went unnoticed._

_Eventually I came to, out of my daze, and turned to see Quil smiling, eyes closed and lying back in the sun. I watched my subconscious rhythm and realised how high my stroking had become; I was almost touching Quil's cock when I rubbed upwards._

_Through the fabric of Quil's pants I could see his cock twitching, pulsing slightly with each massage of his thigh. These things were never planned, as I said, they just happened._

_I looked around to see empty stretches of road in both directions, no one on a mid-afternoon hike, and no one with binoculars on the beach. I slowly unzipped Quil's fly and, with easy access from no underwear, I pulled his semi-hard member out into the open._

_Quil's shock was evident in his eyes snapping open, but he remained smiling nonetheless._

He must have been just as out of it as I was,_ I thought to myself as Quil closed his eyes again, ready for some getting-better time._

_One last look around the area before I started eased my worry before I picked up Quil two-handed. Since the first time and that time, Quil and I had pleasured each other enough to get straight into it without questions or a need to feel awkward._

_Quil left his feet dangling over the edge of the cliff as he placed his hands under his head as a cushion, while crossed my legs and turned my whole body towards his direction. My right hand, using thumb and forefinger, made a firm ring around the base of Quil's cock, and the left hand slowly pulled back the soft skin on top._

_That never ceased to surprise me, the feeling of another man's penis. After a few months of solo action, I had to readjust to Quil's differently proportioned package._

_Through the salty air I could still fell the intense heat stored in his pants since the last time he relieved himself. The heat dissipated as I began to stroke, gentle sliding the skin over the head, then back over it to exposed the pick flesh to the outside world._

_This wasn't the first time we had done it outside, we had done it outside the second time as we were so thrilled with the results of our first experimentation that we couldn't wait to walk the whole way home from school, so we stopped in the bushes to quickly finish each other off for the afternoon._

_After a few strokes, I could feel the blood flowing into the part of Quil in my hand. It became harder and harder in a matter of seconds as I drew the skin up over his head, then back down again. A while ago I had realised I should use some lubricant, and that had started off a whole new sensation for Quil and I to experiment with, so the rolling back and forth of the skin became a warm up for the real deal._

_As I was outside I had no lubricant, so I spat onto the tip of Quil's cock, letting the saliva run down to my hand. As it touched my thumb, I spat on it again, this time catching it around the head and massage the head with my saliva. I added more amounts of my spit, all the while listening to Quil's moans of pleasure, knowing I was hitting the right spots I had memorised from the previous occurrences._

_Eventually Quil's whole cock was covered in my saliva, so I began my usual pattern, one hand on top of the other sliding from tip to base, this time directly running over the head without and skin interception._

_The first time Quil had repaid me with this discovery, tingles shot through my body, resinating from the ridge of my cock's head. I gasped every time Quil's fingers passed over it and eventually shot the largest load since Embry's sleepover. Over time we had built up stamina from coming to early, so Quil just lay back, breathing on as he had, but I knew there were a hundred electric needles pleasuring his whole body._

_My right hand began to sweep across his thigh, gently squeeze his balls and massage the area behind the balls as my left hand caught more of the saliva I added and twisted over the head._

_Quil's breathing began to stagger in time as it always did, I knew I had a little while longer before he would come. I added as much lubrication as I could and used both hands to massage the shaft and head so that Quil would feel good about his break up; he had to move on._

_As Quil started to fidget slightly, a sign of mere seconds left, I realised he was wearing clothes still, as we were outside, and they were about to get showered in come. The first thing that came to mind as he was about to shoot was to swallow it._

_It all happened in slow motion. I bent low over his crotch as fast as I could. My lips touched the very tip of his cock while they slowly parted to make way. My mouth made an O shape around the intruder, much larger than expected. My tongue protected his treasure from my lower teeth and I pulled my top teeth as far away as I could. My lips felt the sudden dip as they passed over the ridge of his head, and my mouth watered, knowing I had a lot to digest._

_Only a second had passed and only another passed as I waited for his wad in my mouth. As I wait I slowly lowered further over Quil's member. My tongue swirled over the head of Quil's cock as I explored Quil in a whole new way._

_It seemed as though Quil should have come by now, either placing my mouth on his cock gave him more time to resist the pull, or I had underestimated Quil's stamina._

_My right hand continued to massage his balls as my left stroked the shaft. I lapped my tongue over the tip of Quil's cock, bringing it down over the underside of the head, the most sensitive area. I pushed slightly over his cock and pulled back up, repeating the swirling movements of my tongue as I did. My left hand made up the distance between the base of Quil's cock and the furthest my mouth could reach; a not far passed the head of the cock._

_Curiosity egged me onward as I lowered myself further. I had never really thought about giving head, but I had thought about the difficulty of deep-throating for women. I didn't think it would be too hard, but Quil's cock seemed too much for me._

_As I lowered my head further over Quil's, the largest part of his cock stretch my mouth wide. I focused on opening my mouth as wide as I could as my tongue swirled crazily all over Quil's cock and my left hand made up less and less distance with each stroke. The momentary lapse in concentration, focussing on making as much room as possible, I didn't notice how close the head was getting until the tip touched my gag-reflex._

_My throat pushed up as I quickly pulled of the log in my mouth._

"_Oh God please don't stop now." Quil sighed and moaned furiously and loudly, I feared for onlookers from the beach._

"_Was that good?" I wasn't sure if he was just going with it to finish of what had started, and he really just wanted and handjob, or if he actually liked it._

"_WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WAS THAT GOOD'? That was fucking amazing!" Quil's eyes blazed in passion and greed and I was envious of his experience._

"_I thought you were going to come and it was the first thing I thought of the save your clothes from spunk stains." For some reason I wanted to explain how this had occurred, that something so 'amazing' had happened by accident._

"_I don't mind why it happened, I'm just glad it did," Quil panted slightly as he tried to talk, "now not to be rude or ungrateful, but can you get back to it, I was about to come and that was... amazing."_

_He smiled to himself as I quirked an eye brow to myself out of curiosity to how the sensation would feel as I tended to his cock. My lips parted slightly as I sucked in air on the way to a breath-holding contest. I collected as much saliva in my mouth as I could as his cock entered again._

_This time it was immediately lathered in my natural lubricant, and I heard the almost exaggerated moan from Quil that I was tuning out before._

_I returned to bobbing slowly over Quil's head, only reaching shallowly out of fear of gagging but making up the lack of depth with two handed wrist action._

_My tongue didn't make a rhythm; it just indecisively touched everywhere, as if it were trying to taste all over the head. It tasted salty, as I had been warned semen would, just as it had felt strange touching another penis, having on in my mouth felt weirder._

_It was like eating a banana that you couldn't bite into, didn't have any flavour, was rock solid, and leaked slightly with each upward movement of my head. The juice running from inside Quil's cock tasted sweet and salty at the same time, like eating a Salted Caramel with extra salt._

_Unlike the handjobs Quil and I had become so used to giving and receiving, this blowjob was something else. Quil didn't lay still, absorbing the sensations until he fidgeted at the end and came, Quil jerk about sporadically as I pleasured him. His hips thirsted up frequently, threatening to make me gag._

_I realised the faster I bobbed on his cock, the more intense and satisfied his moans of approval became._

_I felt Quil place his hand on the back of my head, my eyes widened as began to pull my mouth of his log._

"_No. Please. Jake. Please" Quil breathed out between panting. I could tell he was close to the most intense orgasm of his life; who was I to keep things slow?_

_He felt me relax and moaned and almost inaudible 'thanks' as he curled his fingers into my hair, a little too tightly, but I didn't mind. He lifted his feet to plant them under his butt as he slowly lowered my head over his cock. I continued the stroking but let Quil guide my head for the main action._

_I didn't even help with the bobbing; I was focusing too hard on holding back my gagging, so Quil manoeuvred my head down and up. His cock buried deeper into my mouth each time I went down. Eventually my gag-reflex gave up and Quil realised it as I had and pushed my head down slightly further. Now Quil had started thrusting up with his hips, having his head touching the back of my throat and my lips almost reaching the base._

_Only a few second had passed since Quil placing his hand on my head but it felt like a big revelation. Being dominated like this was strange because I didn't mind, but I wanted to dominate him more than be dominated._

_Just as I thought over this idea, Quil's moans turned to grunts as he thrust hard into my throat, frantically pushing his cock into my mouth as deep as it would go. My lips were reaching the base and I could feel my tonsils parting way for the girth of Quil's dick._

_Three large grunts and quick thrusts were succeeded by a large intake of breath and a low moan, at the same time as the rod in my mouth stiffened. Hot pools of come formed in my mouth as it pulsed over and over. I swallow the first few sets, but they came in such quick succession that small amount seeped out of my mouth as it began to fill rapidly._

_When Quil had stopped thrusting and began to calm down again, I swallowed the rest in my mouth, licked my lips clean of the bits that escaped, and gently sucked on Quil's slowly softening cock like a straw to drain any come inside the penis._

_This arched Quil's back up as a last moan escaped his lips._

"_Good thing there's nothing to clean up." I laughed, not really finding it funny as I tucked Quil's dick into his fly, zipped him up and lay back with him._

_He didn't end up blowing me, I hadn't expected him to return the favour straight away, after all it had been a focus on getting him better, plus he needed time to absorb this new skill._

That had only happened two months ago, and had been the only time I had given head. There hadn't been time or a need after that as Quil got straight into another relationship.

"You alright? Want to talk about something?" Alice looked at me, taking her eyes off the road as she often did; a little unnerving.

"I'm fine, nothing but happiness in my head." The bored sarcasm of my voice made her flash a concerned face towards me; she then returned to driving silently, thinking asking would make it worse.

That day was Art History, a highly theory-based subject that held my attention like a bear trap catching smoke. As the class scribbled down notes from the teachers lecture about why artists moved into the Cubist movement, I watched their frustrated faces as their hands couldn't keep up with what they wanted to write; with the exception of the Cullen pair.

Occasionally someone would grunt silently - though I could hear with my amplified senses – as they tried to flick between the text book for reference to what the teacher had discussed; with the exception of the Cullen pair.

All eyes focused on the Ms Anderson, intently analysing her movements she threw her whole body into an accidental interpretive dance to emphasise certain points of her relentless monologue; with the exception of Emmett Cullen, whose eyes were staring out of the corner of his eye at me.

That was until I noticed, when he quickly and smoothly engaged his eyes with the teacher, just as everyone else was, pretending it didn't happen.

I wasn't sure if he had seen me catch him, or even if it was something to catch...

_Maybe it was a coincidence that we looked at each other at the same time..._ I tried to reassure myself; I was worried that my temper might flare at his pestering.

I tried to look as if I was writing as to not attract attention from the teacher; they always asked questions to those not listening. My pencil scratched roughly at the paper before me, laid out on the paint stained tables. Though I had the full intention of writing something, anything, the letter – undecided - was never finished as the line continued down the side of my page. The pencil left small flakes behind: a permanent print on the page. A few long strokes on the page, some slightly curved, but mostly straight, and then I moved onto smaller repeated strokes, trying to make sharply curving lines in the drawing.

I had never counted myself as a drawer, but apparently I was alright.

"_Alright?"_ People would shout in protest, _"Alright is what a call my wife's cooking; these are great!"_ I don't remember who said those exact words – possibly Mr Clearwater – but it was nice to be good at something.

After a minute of drawing, I looked up through my lashes, trying not to make it obvious that I was looking up at all, to see what the class was doing.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Each person a looked at, trying to draw inspiration from their drama, their fortune, their boredom, would provide a small detail to add to my drawing.

I avoided looking at Emmett until I had critically analysed everyone else. He sat in the early morning sunlight that painted a small rectangle horizontally across the chests of all the students along the opposite wall. He had one leg propped up on the stool in front of him, his chin resting on his fist, with his elbow on his knee: The Thinker.

I returned to my drawing, giving no emotional retort as I knew he I was watching; I was not about to give up my leverage to his stupid joke.

Some flicks and dashes and shading filled in a minute or so of time, counting down the minutes until the lesson was over; the clock said half an hour.

Just as I returned to drawing, a tiny scrunched up piece of paper hit my head and landed in the middle of my drawing.

_Who the bloody hell threw that?_ I always immediately assumed it would be bullies finding it fun to throw things at other people, but I never got bullied... _ so who the hell threw that?_

I looked up cautiously, not giving away my curiosity, to see Emmett glance at me out of the corner of his eye before returning to his writing. I unscrunched the note to see small writing in black pen:

_The Thinker... Pretty funny aren't I?_

I looked up again, he mimed a posh laugh, as if he were holding a glass of wine and squinting over a monocle. He then leant over another piece of paper, writing, as he saw my unamused expression.

I continued to draw, waiting for the inevitable hit on my head, but the paper landed softly in the palm of my upturned left hand, right on the edge, before it rolled onto the desk.

_Pretty good throw._ I had to give him that much, but I'd never show it.

_Come on, it was a little bit funny. You_

_didn't expect it. I thought I'd give you_

_better inspiration than Jen._

I looked up to see him gesturing to Jen, a short girl sitting on the table opposite Emmett. She had fair skin and braided brown hair – rather average – and she stared with her mouth open at Ms Anderson, failing to cover the fact that she was definitely not paying attention.

I wanted to laugh, or at least smile, at how funny she looked, but I didn't, I just smiled slightly. To Emmett it looked as if I was upset but trying to be polite, to me, I was winning.

Another note.

_So what are you drawing?_

By the time I looked up at Emmett he was already furiously writing.

_Do I write a note back saying I didn't want to show him because of how terrible it is, that's sure to get sympathy points... or do I show him and act embarrassed...?_

He glanced at me between writing, I lifted the large art book I was drawing in and sheepishly turned it around, just for a second so he couldn't analyse it too carefully and so no one else could see. Even though I was putting on a bashful facade over top of my strong facade, underneath both I was actually nervous, people didn't see my drawings, not serious ones. Even though this was only a little in class drawing, I was still putting in effort and critique always hurt, even if I never outwardly expressed it.

Emmett picked up his note book, it turned out to be his art book, and the writing I assumed he was doing turned out to be a caricature of Ms Anderson, arms flailing and her hair – plated with all her purple and orange ribbons – a plume around her head. It was black and white with small bits of water colours in the hair to bring out the ribbons.

I looked down at my drawing. Though I had drawn it, I never really saw the whole work until I thought about it, the rest of the time the art was broken down into the individual lines that made up the whole.

Almost all the page was taken up by a face of a woman nearly in profile, her hair fanning out slightly as if caught in the wind. The top of her shoulders were the last part of her body before the edge of the page. Her hands, interlaced with each other, were positioned slightly under her chin, as if praying.

_Why would she be praying if she's happy?_ I asked myself as I often did to try and figure out what I meant by my drawings.

Small flowers were placed in her hair, as if she were a gypsy or flower girl. She looked good, all but the praying thing, it frustrated me.

_You need to move the hands down more..._

Just as I was about to start rubbing up the hands to reposition them, a note rolled right were my eraser was about to start.

_Why change something that's perfect?_

Just then the bell rang, the shuffling of stools and people made my line of vision unclear, but just before he packed up and let, Emmett glanced once and me, then smiled down at his bag where he placed his art book, pencils and text book, and then he was gone.

Apparently Alice's last class was out late, or she decided to go to the library without telling me, because I sat in the cafeteria by myself.

It's not as if I care what people think, there's just that feeling I get of people staring when I'm by myself. I ate quickly and took a chance on the library, hoping to shake the painful feeling of people watching.

"Hey," I heard a voice come from a class I passed on the way to the library. I turned to see Emmett coming out of a room, followed by a teacher.

"And I will have those sheets to you by tomorrow, Emmett," the teacher said as she closed the door behind him and walked towards the staff room.

"Thanks," said Emmett to the teacher before turning to me, "where are you heading?" he seemed genuine about wondering.

"The library," I kept my sentences short, the cold shoulder was a bitch.

"Would you like me to come with you?"

"I'm fine if you don't want to." I started walking, smirking in my head at how good that sounded coming out of my mouth. I resisted turning around to see his face, but didn't have to as he was walking beside me.

_What the hell?_

I looked sideways at him; apparently it was a non-verbal question.

"You said 'if I don't want to', but I do." He smiled broadly, trying to spark some laughter out of me, what everyone did when they tried to cut through the tension I created with my guilt-tripping, and I didn't realise it at the time, but I completely let go of my act and smiled, it felt good to smile.

"I am sorry about what happened the other day, really. I haven't had a chance to express it without you cutting me off, but I honestly didn't mean anything like what it sounded, I would never say anything like that intentionally, you have to believe me, I wouldn't."

"It's fine, I forgive you for your mistake," I said, but I forgot to lace it with depression or other sympathy-provoking emotions, and this slip up went unnoticed by me.

The hall way filled with our steps against the marble-look Lino that covered the floors, I had no idea how to get to the library and was starting to feel uncomfortable in the silence, and uncomfortable in the idea of asking Emmett for directions. For this reason, I walked a half step behind him so I would follow him without him realising.

"I liked your sketch," was the silence-breaker he said.

_Sketch... Did it only look like a sketch; I thought it looked good, I thought I put enough effort into it..._

"Thanks, was yours realistic?" I tried to make a joke to cover my faltering; I didn't know what to think.

Firstly, why did I care what he thought, I didn't care what anyone thought, let alone what they thought about my drawing, let alone what this particular vampire thought.

Secondly, should I take it as a compliment, that something he liked – something he saw as 'perfect' – was only a sketch to him, that I could do something so good in such a short amount of time? Or an insult, that it was just a sketch, all my effort for nothing more than a simple drawing?

He laughed, "She does look like that when she gets into what she's saying, but I'm not a very good drawer, just caricatures. Plus mine had nothing on yours, it was so..." He left the sentence open, as the time ticked by with our footsteps I realised it would be left unsaid, just an I-can't-explain sigh to fill the void.

As I decided I should take the 'sketch' tag as a compliment, I continued walking down the hall, not realising that Emmett had turned into an opening that was to be the library. Not until I felt a broad hand inside mine did I realise I had overstepped the journey. Emmett's hand was in mine and he pulled me back, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Hey, Daydreamer, libraries this way," he chuckled as he turned and dragged me slightly in his direction. For a fraction of a second his hand lingered in mine as I caught up to him, the first quarter-step was taken hand in hand, though he was only lightly holding onto the side of my palm with thumb and forefinger. Then he let go, laughed at my distracted mind, and walked to the back corner where he disappeared behind a row of shelves.

I turned to search the library for Alice. The librarian sat behind the check out desk with her classes on and stereotypically reading a book. One leg crossed over the other, both sheathed in skin-colour, old-fashioned stocking, disappearing into high heeled Wing Tips at one end of her leg and into a black high waisted skirt at the other. She had the sexy librarian look going, and if it weren't for it being an accident she would have looked like a try-hard, but because she was oblivious to the pubescent teenage boys on a desk behind her, her ignorance made it attractive.

Apart from the disturbing boys behind her, there were only seven other students in the library. One student was myself, the other was Emmett, and another two boys in a lower year stood in separate areas reading separate books.

Three girls sat with heads together on the corner desk, whispering silently as to not get told off for disturbing the peace for other students. They may have been talking about the school work related to the text book they were leaning over, if the text book was named _A Detail Visual Breakdown of Emmett Cullen_. Their desk lined up with the aisle Emmett stood in, completely unaware of the spectators of his activities. Well that's what they thought, I could make out what they were saying, I could hear their almost silent whispers, so that meant Emmett could too.

"... only just older than me," one of them said, someone I recognised from my maths class, she continual flicked her fringe out of her face to get a clearer view.

I walked over to the closest shelf of books to pretend I was doing something; I wanted to continue listening to their conversation, it was pretty funny, and there was no point in finding Alice, the bell was about to ring.

"Why does that matter?" her blond haired friend asked, mocking a bitchy attitude, "It's not as if he's going to go out with you when he has me as an option." The third girl laughed at this while the first just glared and flicked her fringe.

"Well you did say you liked that guy from that other school, why not ask him out?" The first girl asked the second girl while the third continued listening silently.

"Who? The tall guy with the tan skin?"

"Yeah, Jacob, he's good at maths, we're in the same class." At this point in time I froze.

_Oh My God, no one has ever said something like that about me._ I continued to look at my book, making sure I didn't look in their direction as I slowly crept away, but I was too late;

"There he is over there," said the silent girl, so I remained standing still, acting as if I hadn't heard.

"How embarrassing, do you think he was listening?"

"No," replied the first girl, "no one can hear anything over the noise Ms Bates thighs make when she walks around returning books." They all burst into laughter, something rather mean I thought.

"That's not funny, Ms Bates is lovely letting us in here whenever we want," defended the second girl, "plus I only said he was cute not that I liked him."

"He is pretty cute."

"Nice hair."

"And hands, I like big hands, they're warmer to hold."

"And he's tall."

"But not as tall as Emmett, but either way I think Andy's going to ask me to dinner sometime soon..." the rest of their conversation broke off as I heard Emmett laughing.

"What?" I whispered as I made my way over to Emmett in the isles, we both moved out of view of the girls as they continued to talk about girly stuff that didn't make any sense.

"Someone has some admirers," he laughed.

"Yeah, you," I replied.

"They've been doing that for ages, and a bunch of girls before them, but they seem to like you, go ask one of them out."

"Nah, I'm fine here... where I'm standing... away from them..."

"Oh, come on," he looked over my shoulder, through the shelves at the girls who had started their homework, "one of them has to appeal to you."

"I'm fine," I said, ending the conversation just as the bell rang.

"Don't worry, there's someone out there for someone _cute_ like you," he mocked as he brushed passed me to leave the library. Sudden waves of heat rushed over my face; blushing, I stood for a moment before trudging to my next class.

"Get in." I turned to see Alice pull up beside me in the parking lot. I had just assumed I would be walking home, but a lift would be nice.

"Thanks, you don't have to," I said as I dropped my bag in the back seat and sat in the leather passenger seat.

"How else were you going to get to our study group?" She smiled. "Don't worry, I knew you'd forget, but I got your back."

"Oh, yeah," my mood immediately died; the happiness that had accumulated in my past few lessons had vanished. I had no idea what I was happy about – what these subject could do to make me excited – but I was happy nevertheless.

"Wanna talk about something, about this morning or the smiles?"

"What's with you and always wanting to talk about my problems?"

"Who said they were problems I wanted to talk about?"

We sat in silence as Alice manoeuvred the flashy car out of the schools property and onto the road. Many of the other cars headed in the opposite direction into town or turned off at the first fork in the road so our car galloped solitary through the race course to the Cullen's mansion; mansion, or so I'd heard.

"So," Alice piped up again as soon as the car hit the road, "what's with the smile?"

Just then I felt the ever so slight smile spread across my face; not so much a smile, more of a happier look.

"I'm just happier today than normal, is that so bad?" I dropped the smile straight away and put on a pissed-off voice.

"Well you were pretty moody this morning, what changed?"

"I donno, nothing changed, I just stopped thinking about what I was thinking of this morning, but then you reminded me."

"And what's so bad about what you were thinking about?"

"It's complicated," I said, trying to avoid the question.

"That's what people who are too lazy to answer a question properly say. What were you thinking about this morning?"

"Holy shit, Alice," I suddenly snapped, not raising my voice or making angry gestures, just adding a sharp infection to my words, "what's with all the questions?"

"Why don't you want any help finding the answers?"

_Touche._

"Because it's none of your business."

"Sure it isn't," Alice laughed, "everything's my business. Eventually you'll come crawling back to Alice, looking for answers you know she can help you with."

"I'll make you a deal," I said, waiting for Alice to nod; she did, "I'll buy you dinner tonight if you let this afternoon be as painless as possible."

"Deal."


	5. When The Help is The Hindrance

**AN:** Thanks for the reviews and favourites and alerts, it means heaps.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

When The Help is The Hindrance

The car pulled up in the drive way, the gravel crunched under the tired as I opened my car door seconds before stopping. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs and pushing my chest out, before picking up my bag and bracing myself for the worst.

"Oh, come on," Alice said impatiently at the foot of the stairs leading to the veranda.

The house was amazing, more than anything I could ever afford, more than the Reservation could afford. The windows became mirrors reflecting the overcast sky of the afternoon, making the whole house seem as though it were invisible, blending into its surroundings.

One big tugged from Alice and I started walking to the stairs, I had only realised that a house full of vampires was just added to my list of fears for today. I had only thought of the obvious two as a reason not to go: bored out of my mind and being made to look like an idiot in front of Emmett.

_Just think of Bella_, I said to reassure myself, and that pushed me up the stairs and across the veranda to the front door.

Before I knew it I was standing awkwardly in the front door as Alice walk off into a room branching off the front room.

"Jacob, how nice it is to see you," Esme rounded the corner from a room that looked like the kitchen.

_What did they need that for?_ I silently snorted at my own joke.

"Hi," I replied as I shuffled awkwardly on my feet, acting like a child who visits their friend's house for the first time.

Esme laughed at my obvious discomfort, "please come in, I brought food if you would like it, it's not as if we eat anything around here anyway what with Bella out again-"

Esme stopped talking as she saw the look of rage on my face.

_HOW COULD HE DO THIS AGAIN?_ _What is wrong with him, dragging her away from me like this?_

Besides being slightly taken aback, Esme stepped forward to place a hand on my forearm. "I'm sorry, Jacob, I don't think it would have been done intentionally."

"Of course it was done intentionally," I started huffing out an angry rant about how frustratingly protective Edward had been over Bella, but a sweep of calm passed over me, as I knew Jasper was in the room.

"Don't worry, Jacob," was all he said before he walked towards the dining room table where large amounts of snacking foods were in bowls.

"That's really very nice of you, Esme," I said in a sweet voice I hadn't used since I were a boy, I could feel my anger trying to fight its way back, but the calm mind held back my anger as my true self knew it was the right thing to say.

"You're very welcome, Jacob, eat as much as you want, as I said, there's not much use for it here," she smiled, lightly touched my shoulder as she passed into the front room before disappearing up the stairs.

"Emmett will be here soon, he's upstairs at the moment getting changed," Jasper informed me as I silently ate chips, but as he said that, my mind thought of Emmett getting changed, Emmett topless, Emmett floating around my mind in my orgasm.

My heart skipped a beat and Jasper looked up at me, "guess the angers gone then," he laughed and I suddenly felt the calm disappearing, but where the void should have been filled with anger, it was only filled with my own calm; calm and a smile.

A loud clap at the bottom of the stairs announced Emmett's arrival, "Who's ready to learn?" His booming laughter filled the space between the walls as he walked over to the table, Alice skidding across the table from her position in the other room.

Emmett had changed from his school uniform - black pants, white shirt – a pair of denim coloured jeans and button up chequered green shirt. The shirt flapped open, revealing the tight white shirt he wore underneath, following his body tightly.

The cotton rolled over his shoulders, stretching across the broad bone structure beneath the muscle.

My heart beat faster.

The seams looked fit to burst around the lower torso, pulling tight over the firm abdominal muscles, sculpted in the supernatural marble skin.

My heart squeezed tighter.

The hem pulled up slowly over the belt of his pants he had pulled it over. A hair width at a time in slow motion; one hair width and it revealed the top of his pants; another hair width and it revealed black cotton boxers; another hair width and it revealed the slightest of skin before the hem of the shirt fell back down.

My heart skipped a beat.

The white fabric threatened to tear, each fibre holding onto the next as the material lay across Emmett's chest, the flat but curved muscles that heaved slightly as he continued to laugh loudly. The hint of a nipple present, as if vampires could get cold, if only for a slight breeze I could...

A wave of calm washed over me and my heart returned to normal. I suddenly realised what had happened, I quickly turned back to eating, it seemed no one but Jasper had noticed my blanket staring at Emmett as he took the few steps between the stairs and the table.

"You ready you learn?"

Though I was completely distracted, adding another problem to those needing to be discussed with Alice, I tried to concentrate, focusing the best I could. What followed was a thoroughly detailed hour and a half of study before Alice interjected at the end of question nine part G), "well I think Jacob has stretched his mind enough for today, so thank you Emmett, but now someone owes me dinner." She smiled, then held out her hand, waiting for me to take it, which I did.

"Well... Until next time I guess," said Emmett, picking up the pieces of paper and pencils as he continued, "that is if you want a next time?" It was more of a question, and he paused infinitesimally, waiting for my answer.

"Sure, I'd really appreciate the help, and you have helped a lot," I said, still politely drunk on calm. As I lead Alice to her car, sweeping waves of regular emotions flooded my body – almost nauseatingly strong – as I left Jasper's range.

"Long periods in that bubble can do that to you," she said, smiling as she got in the driver's side of the car.

"So what is it that I can help you with?" Alice jumped straight into the chit chat as soon as our butts hit the seats of the restaurant.

The small cafe-by-day, foodie-by-night sat in the middle of town, between a motel and a book store. The twelve sets of tables and chairs spilled out into the stony court yard behind the shop, covered over head partially by grower vines. The ground looked like a Parisian backyard, with moss thriving through the mortar and was surprisingly warm for outside at night in Forks.

"Just remember, this is an obligation, not a privilege." I picked up the menu as I stated my views on the meeting. Cursive scripted spelt out the words of the dishes and drinks, but I stared blankly at the open lists. "The most expensive ink and fanciest writing would be no use if no one could read it."

"Getting a bit philosophical this evening, Jacob?" Alice smiled as she scanned the menu; no doubt she had been here before and had already decided on what she would be having.

"No," replying with the best I could muster through the confusion of the black scribble.

"Just get the steak or something, you're a man."

"I don't like steak too much, it makes me sick thinking about all that protein."

"Well," Alice clicked her tongue with a quirked eye brow, "you learn something new every day."

"I'm not picky, I just don't eat stake," I defended myself off-handedly, "I'll just have a burger is there is one."

"Just there," Alice pointed to a collection of letters, "its beef."

"Yeah sure."

After the waitress came over and we gave her our order, Alice rested her elbows on the table with her head in her hands. She stared at me blankly, waiting for me to start talking. I looked around at the scene we were sitting in for a while before realising what she was even doing.

"Why were you happy this afternoon?" She asked, a curious, but gentle glare prodded my inner minds workings; staring through my eyes to my brain.

"I thought I told you I don't know."

"Any ideas?"

"No."

"When'd you start being happy?"

"Some lesson after recess."

"Well whatever happened, happened before recess. Any good lessons?" An experiment in a science class or art? You had art right?"

"Yeah," I said, I thought of Emmett liking my drawing, I immediately had a sinking feeling that I tried to swim away from. Though it teetered on the edge of my mind, I never let it get any closer as I tried frantically to think of some other explanation.

"And was art good?"

"I don't think it was art, it must be something else," I said as I tried to think of something else, laughing at silly people falling over in the wet halls, anything.

"Well what about recess, good food?" A smile flashed bright in front of my mind as Emmet said 'someone cute like you', and then my heart started beating a little faster. I breathed in and out carefully, that slowed it a little.

"I just don't know why I was smiling."

"Oh Jacob, something happened, I can hear your heart beating over here," she smiled and placed a hand on top of mine, continuing in a joking way, "you can tell me, Jacob, I won't bite."

"Just a bunch of girls said I was cute, that's all."

"Aww, do you like one of them?"

"No, I just thought it was unusual, no one thinks I'm cute."

Alice frowned at me, obviously about to object before she reconsidered. "So that's sorted what about this morning, why were you so shut off?"

"Donno," I replied as our food was placed down, I immediately began to stuff the burger into my mouth to try to stop the conversation, but Alice was crafty.

"Before you said 'it's complicated'," Alice mimicked as she placed her salad on a fork before swirling it around her plate.

"That' because it is."

"That means you know what's wrong."

This could go on forever, but instead I ate slowly, trying to wear her patience thin; apparently immortality makes you very patient.

"So what was the deal with Jasper calming you down for the second time?"

_Shit!_ I forgot about that, which question was easier to answer? Better yet, which question was easier to avoid.

"Come one, Jacob, I know something was up. Jasper thought you were getting mad again, but you didn't seem angry, you looked a little lost," she laughed at the memory of my blanket staring.

"I don't know."

"This could go a whole lot faster if you'd stop with the short, evasive answers." Alice seemed to be getting frustrated, but unlike me, she didn't punch something, she just stopped smiling.

"I honestly don't know," I said with a stuttered laugh, arms up in innocent defence, "that's what you're here for," I breathed in an undertone, realising at the last second it wasn't something should have said.

_Too late._

"What were you thinking about then?" Alice dropped her fork with a quiet clatter of cutlery before leaning forward on her elbows, her smile replaced on her face and a helpful tone in her voice.

"I'm not sure... I don't know... I'm a little confused right now," I couldn't think of a way to avoid the question, the thoughts I didn't want to confirm flashed ever closer.

"We're all a little confused every now and then, just let those hormones fly," she winked then looked down at her plate. She laughed at her joke, but then... silence.

Bah-dum.

_Fucking heart beat!_

Alice had heard it, so her head snapped up at me in surprise, but she quickly maintained her composure.

"Tell me, Jacob," she said, a little too demanding to be sympathetic, but she wanted to get to the bottom of this.

"Nothing... It's nothing."

"Jacob, you want to know why you're so moody? It's because you never let any of it out."

"But-"

"And you need to just accept peoples help," Alice went on.

"I-"

"Just tell me what you were thinking about."

"But-"

"I'm not going to judge you, I'm here to help."

"FINE!" I almost shouted, lucky there was no one else around outside. I twiddled my thumbs for a second before Alice gave me an encouraging nod. "I was thinking about Emmett."

"I knew that heart beat at home wasn't anger," Alice's eye brows knotted together, "unless you hate Emmett."

"Ah... different kinds of thoughts, Alice." I nervously avoided her stare.

"What kinds of thoughts," Alice asked seriously. She knew what I meant, I think she just wanted to hear it from me before embarrassing herself on a different rant.

"I couldn't help it!" I exclaimed to the empty plate in front of me, the words then fell from my mouth, I tried to tell as much as I could while I was still brave enough to, "He was being nice to me and said he liked my drawing and held my hand and said I was cute and then he came into the dining room wearing those clothes, what was I supposed to do when I saw him wearing a shirt like that, and I never looked twice at him before what happened the other night!"

"What happened the other night?"

_Shit... again!_

"Just... stuff."

"Jacob," Alice said slightly frustrated and very severe.

"Fine... I may have had an accidental fantasy about him while I was..." It was too awkward to finish the sentence.

"I think we're a little too old to be awkward about these things Jacob. Is this what this morning's moodiness was about? And what do you mean accidental?"

"Sorry, I just find it weird."

"That makes sense."

"And yes, that was part of it. I also had another accidental fantasy about another of my male friends as I was... pleasuring myself," Alice looked completely unfazed, "that's why I was annoyed this morning."

"So why accidental?"

"Because the first time I was about to... um, finish, and then I pictured Emmett in my head just as I... yeah. But last night I told myself I wasn't going to do it again, just in case Emmett was going to appear again, but then I tried and I actually picture doing stuff with Quil."

"Quil is another wolf?" I nodded at her question. "And why were you annoyed at yourself?"

I stared at her blankly, "just because you can ask questions doesn't mean you can't answer them for yourself... it's obvious."

"Right, well you don't need to worry, I know everyone says this but it's true; it's normal to have weird slip ups like this. It doesn't mean you're in love with either of them, it just means your mind is running a little bit crazy. Don't worry about it."

"Well..."

"Seriously, it's only happened these two times and in the grand scheme of things it was a tiny speck on your whole sexual history, so you don't have to worry. I had to give this talk to Rosalie as well, she didn't care too much, she just feared for sharing shoes."

We both laughed at how true that really was before we stood up to leave.

"Thanks, Alice," it took all the strength I had to crush my pride to thank her, but my heart felt light with happiness when I did.

"Jacob, will you tell me if you have any more problems?" I looked down into her shining golden eyes and couldn't resist.

"Of course," I replied before getting the wind knocked out of me in a bone crushing hug. I lightly patted her on the back before she let go.

"And it seems to me as though these are mistakes made at the end of your... pleasuring. That's not a very accurate indicator to your preferences; everything gets a little hectic at the end. I bet nothing will happen if you just thought about Emmett or Quil the whole time."

The drive home was silent in comparison to all the talking we had done, just listening to the radio. Though the discussion didn't seem like the miracle cure to my problems that I was looking for, I still felt one hundred per cent better than I had going into it.

_Why didn't I see it; it was obvious that it was just a onetime thing._

I opened the car door as Alice pulled up in my drive way.

"Thanks," was the best I could come up with out of my exhausted haze and awkwardly position.

"I understand how difficult it was to say that, Jacob," she said through an all-knowing smile, "and I'll see you tomorrow."

I stomped heavily up the reinforced stairs to my bedroom. It was full of night air as I left the window open; a Dreamcatcher I got when I was young floated in the wind but the opening. My clocked ticked, ticked, ticked, as I realised how late it was.

_Not going to the garage then._

I looked walked back out to the edge of the stairs to see where my father was.

_Not in the lounge room._

I returned to my room, stripped off my clothes and picked up my towel and pyjamas. The familiar freedom of a naked walk; the cool breeze across my chest caused my nipples to harden, the gentle thudding of my cock against my thigh cause my cock to harden.

The shower was as it always was; comfortably solitary. The warmth ran all over my body, all but my face was submerged in the unnatural rain in my bathroom. I put shampoo and conditioner in my hair to clean it, rubbing the excess from my body as I went. I got lost in the smells as I closed my eyes and fell back into it.

My right hand ran over my abs, each finger jumping over the ridges before they surfed along the length of my cock. The conditioner created a frictionless surface to run across; I gasped as my fingers reached the ridge of the head.

Taking it into my hand, I kept my eyes closed as I stroked my dick a few times, testing the smoothness that the hair products formed. I full-handedly massaged the left side of my chest with my left hand as I continued cautiously. Opening my eyes, I saw my reflection in the glass of the shower, seeing my glistening body was slightly attractive for some reason. It was a strange thought and made me think of what Alice had said.

'_I bet nothing will happen if you just thought about Emmett or Quil the whole time.'_

So confident was I in what Alice had said I made the stupid mistake on taking up her challenge, fully believing that this would prove the last two fantasies to be an anomaly in my masturbation sessions.

I thought of Emmett, his height, his breadth, his shiny smile as he called me cute.

I bent down to pick up the shampoo bottle for more lubrication.

The white shirt ripping as it tried to conceal his strong chest, the first pearly white patch of skin appearing behind the tear. As he inhaled – long staggered breaths – his chest expanded to break open the fabric more. Eventually he used his hands to remove the rest of the useless shirt.

I sucked in a large amount of humid air; my lungs rejected the oxygen causing me to cough. When I had stopped, the hand I covered my mouth with – my left hand – sought out my balls. It gripped them firmly but gently and tugged on them as I returned to my fantasy.

Emmett continued to huff for some unknown reason, standing in the middle of the dining room of the Cullen's house. Where the table had been stood a deep lounge, covered in pillows and blankets and I lay in the middle, leaning back on my elbows, not quite sure what I felt.

As Emmett walked over to me, he passed over a column of sunlight streaming in through one of the high windows from the kitchen. His chest glistened like sunlight off a semi-frozen lake at the beginning of winter. Back into the shade of the house and the shadows outlining his abs darkened, intensified. Six solid bricks, rounded, starting from the bottom of his chest were sandwiched between two long side muscles, one on either side of his torso. At the end, a large muscle formed into a triangle, the ridge leading from the top of his hips into his pants that hung low, just revealing a pair of black, tight cotton boxers. As he continued to walk toward me, still lying back, mesmerised on the lounge, the bottom abs contracted with the large triangular muscle, each step easing the loose pants further down.

Back to Jacob in the shower, I had my eyes closed, pumping furiously at my harder-than-ever member. Not knowing what I was doing, I subconsciously applied more lubrication at regular intervals, each time shivering at the cool addition. My left hand was taking care of the base of my cock and my balls, massaging both as my right hand flicked up the length of my shaft and rolled over the head, each time causing my knees to shake.

Emmett stopped just as he reached the edge of the lounge, my feet dangling over the side slightly. He looked me over, from foot to face, and as I did the same to myself, I realised I was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers the same as Emmett's, but white.

I looked up at Emmett; he looked into my eyes sexually, not passionately, or dominantly, just sexually, his face had no suggestive smile or lustful gleam in his eye, just a look that reflected my own.

He knelt on the lounge, one knee on one side of my ankles and one knee on the other. I swallowed coarsely. He took a deep breath, causing his chest to spread wide, his broad, heavy shoulders flexing back. My eyes traced over his chest, a deep ridge through the middle divided this perfect sculpture in half. A light-coloured nipple stood awake on either side of chest; I longed to lick one, to have it in my mouth.

On all fours he crawled up my body, straddling my crotch when his face was close to mine, but not close enough. He had ditched his pants on the way and now only two layers – one black and one white – lay between our bodies. I felt his cool, but strong thigh on either side of my hips. Emmett licked his right thumb before running it down his neck, over his chest then using it to massage his left nipple. It was hot; I couldn't help but gasp which made him smile seductively.

His right hand wandered down, running over the ridge of his chest, the mountains and valleys of his abs and stopped at the entrance of his boxers. We were both watching his hand and when it stopped I looked up at him and he looked at me. His middle finger pushed the elastic until it gave in and let his hand under the fabric. His whole hand disappeared into the boxers and then I saw it make a cup around his cock. I swallowed roughly again as his other hand hooked its thumb into the top. It slowly dragged the material down while his right hand pulled his package out. My heart beat increased; a drumming in my chest that caused my head to spin. I held my breath in anticipation, waiting for Emmett to show me what I wanted to see, for my jaw to hit my chest in relish. As his hand started to emerge from behind the black boxers, I craned my neck to speed up the process. Just as I was looking for some skin that didn't belong to Emmett's hand everything dissolved into smoky blackness.

My eyes clouded over as I was brought back to the real world, the hot water running over my body that was now down on its knees on the tiles. My back was hunched as I pumped long and hard with my right hand while my left hand continued its assault on my balls with some attention to my lower abs.

I began to realise what was happening; I was a split second away from my climax, long enough to stop, but instead of revolting against what had happened – from what was happening – I closed my eyes, returning for the smallest amount of time to the image of Emmett straddling over my hips. I still couldn't see his package, but the image pushed me forward, pushed my hunched back into an arch as I moaned deeply toward the skies. I felt the endless streams of come wash over my chest as it erupted from me further than it had in a long time.

I closed my eyes, darkness consuming my mind as I did the last thing I could remember, turn off the shower. When I re-emerged from my blacked-out state – what felt like seconds later – I was sitting opposite Alice in the cafeteria the next day having lunch. My voice was laced with disappointment in myself.

"It didn't work, Alice; you were wrong."


	6. Realise

**AN:** Sorry, lots and lots of stuff had to be done. I wrote this chapter in about four sessions, each about two or so months apart, so I'm sorry if there are continuity errors, I tried to read back to make it all match up, but I'm only human. If Jacob has his pants off one second, and then they're back on again the next, sorry in advance.

**2nd AN:** Funny, after writing the first AN, it then took me two weeks to upload it, sorry again.

"What didn't work?"

After leaving the shower, I dried myself off and collapsed on my bed – dead to the world. I awoke the next morning and called Alice to tell her I'd find my own way to school – lifelessly. I had my first lesson of the day and grabbed my recess before sitting opposite her where I was when she asked me that question – back to life.

The shock of what had happened had pushed the life out of me; I was in a walking coma. My mind held everything away from my memory until the point I told Alice she was wrong, then I remembered all that had happened between my shower and sitting down. It was probably my brains idea of protecting me, knowing I would be thinking about it until I found Alice o tell her what had happened. But now that I was there, I couldn't bring myself to say the truth out loud.

"It didn't."

"What's it," she smiled, completely unaware of the pain and suffering my insides churned to remind me of, "you'll have to give me more details than that if we are going to get this sorted by next lesson."

"When you said that I wouldn't have fantasies about Emmett or Quil if I actually thought about it?"

"Yeah..."

"Well I tried it and I couldn't stop myself once I'd started." Through the stress I had eaten all of my food, so I helped myself to Alice's too. "It's worse than that; I didn't want to stop."

"Oh," was all she could say at first, then, "well, firstly, which-"

"It was Emmett," I said, cutting her off; I knew what she was going to ask.

"Oh," was all she said again.

The silence stretched slightly longer than was comfortable; Alice's eyes betrayed the battle in her mind it fought with itself to try and find the right question to ask. You could tell by the way she raised her eye brow and chewed her lip slightly that it was difficult to choose between the many she wanted to know the answer to.

"Go ahead," I encouraged through my whiney state of mind.

"What were you and Emmett doing in your fantasy? What happened; where?" she asked confidently, the way in which a doctor might ask a question that everybody else in the world would find uncomfortable, and that's exactly how I felt about the question.

_What's that got to do with it?_ I thought to myself.

"We were on a lounge in your dining room."

"And what events unfolded?"

"I was lying backwards and he walked over to me and he climbed on top off me." I was embarrassed saying it out loud which made me say it awkwardly under my breath.

As I said it, Alice made a face that was less reassuring than I'd hoped.

"What?" I asked, desperate to know what she thought.

"It's just... I had suspicions that it might have been an instincts thing, you know, animalistic nature to dominate the alpha male of this territory... but if Emmett approached you, and 'mounted' you..." she left the idea open for me to finish privately in the space of my head.

_Stupid Alice..._ As much as I would have liked to deny anything Alice had said, I knew deep down that she was right, and I couldn't spend my whole life running from it.

"Got any ideas on what you're going to do?"

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," my voice shook as my nerves began to get the better of me. I could feel my hands shaking, a thousand volts of electric adrenaline ran through my blood stream; I wasn't sure why I had this reaction to fear, but I did.

Just then the bell rang; Maths... _SHIT!_

Alice and I parted ways at the cafeteria doors as we walked with everyone else to our next class. I tried frantically to find a way to get out of going to Maths as if my life depended on it. Trying to stand still in the tide of bodies while I thought was hopeless so I decided to walk in the general direction of the classroom and I would think of something by the time I got there.

Before I knew it I was sitting down in my regular seat, Emmett hadn't arrived yet. The teacher had started talking about another topic we were starting while the rest of the students filed in and unpacked their books.

My heart felt weak was the seriousness of the situation started sinking in.

_Bah-dum_

I looked up at the newest arrival into the classroom; of course it had to be Emmett. Our eyes locked and he smiled at me with a friendly wave; I knew he had something to tell me by the way he took a deep breath as he sat down, ready for a conversation.

_Bah-dum_

Low chit-chat picked up around the room as the teacher had given his instructions and the students began to work.

"So guess what," Emmett said as he immediately raced through his questions, finishing before anyone else had put pen to paper.

I shrugged in a 'not sure' kind of way to avoid opening my mouth to answer his question; I didn't trust myself to hold back the nervous laughter or crying or vomit that might escape if I opened it.

"Those girls that were checking you out yesterday asked me if you were single when I was in the library today." He laughed, "I just find it funny that they were so scared to talk to me before, but today they asked me a question as if everything had changed about me."

I smiled politely as I dodged his eyes, trying to pretend that I was putting full effort into my work. I realised that it may have looked like I was giving him the Cold Shoulder – a few days ago that would have been fine but now I felt bad about it, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to him.

A minute passed and I continued to focus on acting normal, all the while my mind swam with thoughts of what the hell was happening. Nothing really happened in my mind, just snippets of ideas and pieces of memories all concerning this situation drifted behind my eyes. Then:

"Do you need help?" His voice was deep from whispering, and he turned his body to face me.

A war raged in my mind; what was good for me and what was not. One side wanted to say yes, so that I could have him near me, paying attention to me and to be involved with me. The other side wanted to say no, so as to not continue this horrible nightmare and stop any encouragement of it. Which sided was good and which was bad changed; I didn't know what side of my conscience to believe to have my better interests at heart.

I turned to answer his question, still not fully sure what to say. He was leaning toward me, elbows on knees spread wide like a man and all I could say was, "Yes."

"Cool," he said as he shuffled his chair closer to mine, a shiny smile plastered on his face as he did so. He sat as close to my working as he could, eventually straddling the leg of the table around his chair, his knee touched my knee as the table leg brushed lightly against the crotch of his pants.

_Bah-dum_

As Emmett started explaining the question to me – the words sprouting wings from his mouth, floating through my ear and then out of the other – I looked back down at the leg of the table. Emmett had shuffled forward ever so slightly – eager to help – the metal pressed into the fabric of his pants a few inches off his bulge.

His large right shoulder pressed against mine as he wrote out the working in my book. The way he kept a perfectly straight face – no confusion or concentration required – as he completed the solutions bewildered me. Where I had started a secret glance at him, I had ended up turning my head completely to watch his calm face working out the problem. Just before he explained the question he licked his lips, they glistened with the venomous saliva. Those lips look soft against the rock hard skin the rest of his body had adopted. I wondered what it would be like to place my lips on his, to run my tongue along his as he ran his fingers through my hair.

_Bah-dum_

"What?" He chuckled out as he noticed me staring, that's when _I_ noticed me staring.

I covered my shock of getting caught; I just shook my head then returned to looking at what he had done. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him smile at me before returning to explain his writing.

I looked down at his crotch, he had shuffled forward on his chair more and I could see the table pushing further into his pants. His bulge had started to press up against the leg and I could just make up the shape of it; a little further would do.

"Do you get it?" He looked at me hopefully, and even though I hadn't listened to a word he'd said, I nodded to make him happy for some reason. "Good, I'm glad." He encouragingly bumped shoulders with me as he started moved on. As he rocked from side to side to readjust himself, I saw his package move around the leg.

_How is he not getting hard from this contact?_

Just then, the teacher came around and said, "Nice work, Jacob, I'm glad you are still doing well." Emmett smiled as if I had actually done some work and slapped a hand on my thigh in congratulations. It was the only place accessible around the table, but was high enough that it sent a shiver straight to my cock. I gasped slightly and my dick began to harden all in the time it took for Emmett to turn back to working. Before letting go, he gave my thigh a squeeze, waves of blood rushed to fill my cock to make it as hard as possible.

_Bah - dum._

He had heard that one. He quirked an eye brow with a 'what was that' kind of smile as he looked down at my chest for a second, then returned to working.

_Oh Shit._

And then the silence began, of everyone in the class unifying in a speechless way. I didn't know if it was better than talking or not. In this way I didn't have to worry about vomiting or accidentally blurting out my secret crush on Emmett if he started up a conversation. But if everyone was talking, I could finally breathe out and let my heart start racing again – get it over and done with quickly – and let it be covered by the noise.

I pretended to look at the clock on the wall but actually looked at Emmett. He had already finished all the questions and was just writing over top of his writing to make it look like he was working. As I 'worked' for the next few minutes, I watch Emmett changed from overlapping his writing, to staring out the window or things around the class room and eventually drawing on the corner of his page. I couldn't make out what he was drawing, his hand was in the way, but I was noticing the flexing muscles of his arm as he flicked the pencil. The way he had a perfectly straight face as he drew, no concentration needed.

I felt the uncomfortable pressure in my pants; the meat swelling and filling up the little room left in my jeans.

_Why now, while I'm wearing jeans?_ It could have been when I was wearing cotton shorts, but no. I was wearing jeans.

His free arm on the other side of his body reached under his shirt to itch something. If only I were on the other side, I would see the toned muscles I had fantasised about so recently. Another nudge at the inside of my fly made me look down at it. The eager pain was starting to become obvious, so I pushed it away slightly hoping it would look less suspicious.

It did, but I also received a pleasant jolt. All I wanted to do was strip of then and there and relieve myself of the pressure, but for some stupid moral, societal reason it was frowned upon.

Time passed and Emmett drew. But every now and again he was stretch back, each time his shirt would ride up higher, but not high enough. I could smell him though, he smelt strong, like a man, and I breathed more deeply than normal just to take in a part of him.

I had passed the point of 'sexually confused' or denial and just swam in the light reflecting off his eyes. Though I could hear my brain screaming at me (like it had been for the past few days) to stop 'all this nonsense', I just tuned out the little puppy and let the wolf growl louder, leaving me in peace to drown the shiny orbs.

Dropping all pretence of looking at the clock, or doing my work, I bluntly stared at Emmett to satisfy the skipping in my heart. My vision blurred over as Emmett took me by the hand and pulled me further out into the water, the strength of the waves reduced to liquid feathers as he shielded me with his body. Out passed the breaking point, he finally turned to face me, not even a sweat or a pant broken in the whole process. The ocean caressed me as he did too, slowly moving closer toward me. Firstly a foot touching mine, then a hand on my thigh, pulling my legs up around his waist. He kept us both afloat with his muscular legs.

"Jacob..." he said to me, though he didn't open his mouth, I could hear it through our minds - inextricable connectedness.

A hand reached up from beneath the water, pushing a stray lock of my hair off my forehead. The fingers then danced down my face, lightly dusting my cheek and settling on the side of my neck, cupping my jaw. His shining smile broke open wider as he leant in slowly, romantically; it was a question he was asking me with his body: can I kiss you?

The hand that wasn't on my neck rested on my lower back, supporting me in the water, supporting me against the troubles of the big bad ocean, supporting us. As he leant in closer, slower than before, his hand on my neck gave the slightest of pushes to encourage me to answer his question. I didn't need to say 'yes' or 'hallelujah!', I just needed to lean in to meet his lips half way.

"Jacob..." he whispered to my mind, his seductive voice purring through my brain. His smile began to slacken into kissable lips, ever-soft and welcoming as I can within millimetres of them.

"Snap out of it, Jacob!" Clicking fingers in front of my face accompanied a smiling Emmett back in the classroom. As I came to my senses I realised everyone else in the room was gone and the only person left was Emmett, waving his hand in front of me and laughing at my daydreaming.

"You were out of it, Jake," he explained as we left the room, "I was calling you for ages and you just kept staring at me." He chuckled his adorable little laugh; I was worried that he discovered my erection in my absence. Whether he had or not I didn't find out because we went our separate ways in the parking lot and by the time I got home my mind was on other matters.

I threw my bag onto the table in the kitchen before heading upstairs to my bedroom; all I wanted to do was sprawl out on my bed, stroke myself into the blissful darkness and wake up fresh for the weekend, but it seemed as though someone had already beaten me to it.

"Jake, thank the heavens you're here, I only just walked in but I've been meaning to catch up with you for days," Quil was laid out across my bed, lying on his side calmly.

"What's up?" I knew what was up, I was just worried that I might go along with it, especially in this 'rough patch' I was having.

"Well, I don't know if you heard, but I'm no longer seeing anyone, and I'm a little bummed," he twiddled his thumbs, looking down at his hands with his bottom lip jutting out, waiting for me to fill in the blanks. I didn't respond, I just picked up the pyjamas Quil was on top of and turned to get changed.

With my shirt off, Quil made a wolf-whistle and said, "why don't you leave it off?" before coming up behind me and spooning me while we stood. I could feel his strong muscles through his clothes against my back, and I could feel his arms around me as he licked the back of my neck. I trembled at his touch; I had wanted to relieve myself so bad and now I had someone to do it for me.

Quil removed his shirt then replaced his hands back on my body, one hand finding my nipple and the other tracing my abs slowly down to my pants. With a pop, my jeans button opened and they fell to the floor.

"Woah, Tiger, already at attention, are we?" he said as his large hand found the rock in my underwear.

"I was-"

"I know what you were doing," he said as he gave it a gentle squeeze, "you saw some hot girly on the way home and couldn't wait to get up here to juice yourself."

There was no point in correcting his minor error, I just let his hands roam my body as I started breathing slightly heavier.

Quil slid his hand under the elastic band of my underwear and gripped the base of my cock and my balls; his hands were quite large, strong like a man's should be. His other hand removed my underwear while the assaulting one stroked me gently, rubbing from tip to balls, all the way along the shaft.

His warmth radiated into my back and around my sides where the skin of his arms met my torso. Before I knew it he was topless and grinding against my back. I wished so badly for Emmett to be there instead of Quil, but I made do with what I had and moaned all the same to the rhythm that Quil provided.

As the pressure built and I could feel more and more of Emmett around me, the rock in Quil's pants pressed against the opening at my legs, grinding slowly along the grove of my ass. My eyes snapped open in panic; did Quil want to go even further than last time? Was I ready for this?

For a split second I ran through a list of scenarios in which I could make an excuse to tell Quil so I wouldn't have to have full sex with him.

Instead of verbalising an excuse to get out of the situation, I turned around and knelt down to become eye-level with the hardening bulge in Quil's pants. I looked up at Quil, still breathing shallowly at the almost 'crossing the line' position I was in, he was looking back at me, grinning down as I slowly unzipped his fly. As the large brown flesh at the tip of his cock emerge from the denim opening, he mumbled out,

"Don't worry, Jake," he had obviously sensed my sudden unease, "the heat from the thighs just feels really good, I wasn't going to deflower you or anything."

_Deflower me?_ And then I realised why my panic was so sudden; it wasn't that I wasn't ready to have sex, it was because I didn't want to lose my innocence to Quil.

I pondered the meaning of my new revelation, _I want to have sex, but not with Quil, and I long for Emmett to be here instead..._

Quil placed a large hand on the back of my head – a light push was a simple gesture that him member was aching and needed taking care of.

"Sorry," I said distractedly.

"It's cool; I wouldn't go that far with you anyway, we'd have to wrestle it out to see who'd be the top." Quil laughed, still thinking I was distracted by the notion of intercourse with him.

My eyes glazed over as I continued to explore the idea of Emmett being my romantic interest; with the whole beach fantasy and now the feelings of physical attraction...

I pursed my lips as the tip of Quil's head, feeling the heat of all the blood pooling in his meat. I pushed my head forward, slightly loosening my lips – but keeping them tight all the time to provide the most intense stimulation – to reach the base of his cock. My lips dried out as the moisture was taken to lather up the shaft. Quil moaned at the repetition of my movements; sharp intakes of breath accompanied each change in motion I provided. With all the frustrated build up in his balls since the break up, it wasn't long before his junk tensed up, his breath jerked wildly and I was gagging on the pouring of cum in my throat.

I fell back on my butt, leaning back for the waste bucket to spit out the excess semen in my mouth. I turned back to get dressed again but was stopped by the sight of Quil kneeling between my legs and wrapping his fingers around my semi-hard cock. He looked up at me, continuing to stroke my cock with a devilish smile but also searching for any sign on reluctance to continue on my part; it's never good to go second, especially because he was the one who had just gone through the break up. Lucky for him I wasn't in the mood to continue... at this location.

"It's alright, Quil, you don't have to, it was my job to cheer you up," I said with a fake smile, trying to hurry the situation so I could leave; maybe if I road fast enough I'd be able to catch Emmett.

"Really? Are you sure? Jeez, Buddy, you are seriously the best friend a guy could ask for." Slapping my leg, Quil got up and dressed while continuing, "Honestly, I owe you big time buddy; two blow jobs and infinite handies for life." Upon finishing getting clothed, Quil headed for the door. He walked past my naked body, still sprawled out on the floor of my bedroom, stopping as he passed my crotch to kiss the tip of my dick, accompanied by a wink and a laugh at the joke I wasn't in on.

I was dressed within seconds, only waiting for Quil to leave my driveway and walk along the stretch of road west to his house. Next second I was on my bike, speeding down my highway in the opposite direction; my heart was carrying the big chuck of metal as much as the gas was.

_Oh shit, what am I going to say?_ I had left before coming up with a plan. _Maybe I could just say I was travelling along that stretch... what a coincidence._

_But he told me that afternoon that he was going to be there. Damn._ I was just going to have to come up with something before I saw him.

At the speed I was travelling, I knew I was going to find him before the cum had dried at the bottom of my waste paper basket. And sure enough, a sparkle shone in the corner of my eye as the gorgeous creature I had been searching for gracefully loped through the forest beside the road.

I couldn't see through the haze that clouded my mind – the images of dark skin pressed against light skin, lying on the forest floor – so the basketball-sized rock on the side of the road that I was heading straight at was beyond the scope of my abilities to avoid.

I blinked at the light seeping through the cracks of my eye lids, I splattered out the water that was running over my face and tried to force myself into the comfort of whatever was underneath me.

"Jacob..." A eerie voice floated through the blackness, it was asking me to opening my eyes, I could tell from the tone of voice. Like my father on school mornings when I was younger. But the vision of a middle-aged man in a wheelchair was not was met my retinas as I peeled back the lids with tremendous effort; it was the face of the boy I had been chasing; in that moment it was the face I would trip over a hundred basketball-sized rocks for.

He didn't say anything to acknowledge me waking up, he just smiled down at me for a minute before nodding at someone out of my view. To be perfectly honest, anything that wasn't Emmett's face wasn't of any interest to me anyway.

I realised then that the comfort I was pushing myself into was a combination of the Cullen's sofa and Emmett's lap, the back of my head was lying in his lap. I stared at Emmett who was still looking down at me; his face was a mixture of relief for being alive and confusion as to why I was staring at him.

I didn't know if it was the knock on the head or because I felt the time was right, but I slowly sat up, trying to get closer to Emmett. As my lips neared his, I stopped short to see if he would bridge the gap, with the slightest of movements I could see him lean closer but before I could stop myself, my lips moulded to the firm yet fluid stone of his mouth. I placed my right hand on the back of his head, just like Emmett had done in my fantasy; I was trying to encourage his response, before pressing further into the kiss.

Just then I panicked, _He's not kissing me back._ Maybe I had just imagined him leaning closer, maybe I had imagined him wanting this.

I closed my eyes tighter, trying to search for some feeling in there, desperately hoping I hadn't just made the biggest mistake of my life.

I tried to convince myself – _He laid me in his lap, and he smiled when I woke up_ – but all the evidence to support it was going as he left me hanging off his lips.

Just as I was considering pulling away, fainting back to the unconsciousness I had so foolishly left – formulating a plan for an excuse like having a concussion or thinking he was someone else – Emmett's lips parted; was he going to put me out of my misery by pulling away and killing me there in a vampire's lounge room, or were those parting lips responding to my touch, was he about to kiss me back?

**AN:** I'm not really sure where to go from here. By the time you've read this I will have started the next chapter under the pretence of it being the last because I don't really want to drag it out. I have an idea of where I want it to go, suggestions maybe?


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